Friday, January 18, 2002

It just gets worse now, doesn't it?

There you are, just recovering from a suicide binge when suddenly, another bombshell drops into your lap: Retrenchment. Nothing solid yet, of course. Just rumours blowing in the wind. But you *know* that things can, and do, get shitty - fast. These days, things have an annoying way of doing that a lot.

The question now is, in the event of a retrenchment here in this company, will I get the shaft? Analysis has proven that there is a big probability that come retrenchmet season, I will be shown the exit along with some of the unfortunates here. Such pessimism becomes me, true, but I base my findings on certain facts which can no longer be denied ( nor were they ever ):
  1. It is the month of January. The last time my manager decided to talk to me about the module I'm working on was in November.
  2. I have been working on the same module since August. My deadline was in October, and no one's noticed.
  3. I have ONE module, while other department colleagues have TWO to FOUR each on an average, some more.
  4. Supervisor doesn't bother anymore with my module - my updates go unanswered, presumably unnoticed.
  5. I've complained one time too many about the lack of creamer in the coffee machine here ( seriously ).
Safe to say, I'm dispensable not by my choice, but by the choice of my managers. It's like, I've been scheduled for retrenchment the moment I got in. Maybe they should fire my managers instead for their complete absence of any management skills, but like anyone notices that.

So in the end, here's what's going to happen at my next job interview ( post-retrenchment ):

I = The Interviewer, A = Me

I: So Mr. Prose, can you tell me why your last company let you go?
A: Most certainly. I sent a letter of inquiry to HR asking them why the coffee dispenser lacked creamer in the afternoon, and HR forwarded that mail to my managers.
I: And?
A: That's it. That's why they fired me.
I: Whoa... hold up there. Let me get this straight. You company fired you because you asked them why the coffee machine had no creamer in the afternoon?
A: Well, that's not entirely correct. You could say that I was a good choice for retrenchment because of that. They have a 'No Criticism Of Management' policy there, you know.

Ah... but life can be glorious when viewed from the correct angles.