There you are, just recovering from a suicide binge when suddenly, another bombshell drops into your lap: Retrenchment. Nothing solid yet, of course. Just rumours blowing in the wind. But you *know* that things can, and do, get shitty - fast. These days, things have an annoying way of doing that a lot.
The question now is, in the event of a retrenchment here in this company, will I get the shaft? Analysis has proven that there is a big probability that come retrenchmet season, I will be shown the exit along with some of the unfortunates here. Such pessimism becomes me, true, but I base my findings on certain facts which can no longer be denied ( nor were they ever ):
- It is the month of January. The last time my manager decided to talk to me about the module I'm working on was in November.
- I have been working on the same module since August. My deadline was in October, and no one's noticed.
- I have ONE module, while other department colleagues have TWO to FOUR each on an average, some more.
- Supervisor doesn't bother anymore with my module - my updates go unanswered, presumably unnoticed.
- I've complained one time too many about the lack of creamer in the coffee machine here ( seriously ).
So in the end, here's what's going to happen at my next job interview ( post-retrenchment ):
I = The Interviewer, A = Me
I: So Mr. Prose, can you tell me why your last company let you go?
A: Most certainly. I sent a letter of inquiry to HR asking them why the coffee dispenser lacked creamer in the afternoon, and HR forwarded that mail to my managers.
A: That's it. That's why they fired me.
I: Whoa... hold up there. Let me get this straight. You company fired you because you asked them why the coffee machine had no creamer in the afternoon?
A: Well, that's not entirely correct. You could say that I was a good choice for retrenchment because of that. They have a 'No Criticism Of Management' policy there, you know.
Ah... but life can be glorious when viewed from the correct angles.