Thursday, October 31, 2002

The problem of digging in nicely in Penang is that one gets contented. And when there's contentment, there's resistance to adverse changes. Like the company sending me away from Penang for an undisclosed amount of time. It's under consideration, of course. I don't have an international passport, and hopefully I don't get sent anywhere. I mean, I don't mind being sent off to maybe America if I get to stay in a grand hotel, get three well-stocked yet exceedingly delicious buffet meals a day and have all the time I want to go shopping for stuff and perhaps even play some tabletop RPG with at the local hobby shops.

However, I don't see that happening. More likely I'll get sent to some remote region ( like a truly isolated village in China ) or some place where I won't be able to communicate with the natives ( eg. Hong Kong ), and I won't even have weekends off. Some people might say that I'm a fool for not wanting to travel, but I think that's not applicable if the only things you'll see are the other country's airport, some roads, the office where you'll be spending the majority of your time in and the little room the company allocates to you to bathe and put your stuff ( you sleep in the office, see, cause you're there to work, not play ).

Is there a point to all this? Hell yeah.

IF travelling implies lots of work, no weekends off and missing Thursday night TV shows
THEN I do not want to go
ELSE I'm there, baybee

Okay, so I'm being petty here. But I can't help it. Paranoia insists that every plane taken by me is headed towards Hell.

Wednesday, October 30, 2002

Life can be like a TV series. Every season consists of 12 episodes, with each episode being one year. So Season One of one's life will be from age 1 to 12, Season Two will be age 13 to 24, Season Three being age 25 to 26 and so on. I initially was thinking of one season having 24 episodes ( and thus 24 years ), but Shin Shion pointed out that it would a) be too long and b) 12 years would nicely cover the various human cycles.

Anyway, I'm into my second season finale now. I'm heading towards closure, cause I truly dislike cliffhangers. This probably stems from watching too much Buffy - every season has resolved storylines. I like that. Not that I seek closure after every 12 years. But at least once every 12 years, I would like to tie up all loose threads. That makes things feel... kosher.

Tuesday, October 29, 2002

Tuesday afternoon lethargy. I'm so lethargic. Lethargy becomes me. I dozed off in my chair after lunch with everyone still in the office - I don't normally do that, but today was one of those occasions when I really had to get some shuteye. Not that anyone knew I was partially unconscious. I think I could have died there and then and no one would have realized that I was one of the dearly departed until much later. Actually, I feel like dearly departing myself right now. I. Am. So. Sleepy.

Monday, October 28, 2002

Monday again. Once more, I feel bloated due to the vast amount of food consumed over the weekend. I think this could be the cause of those fat lines around my neck - fat after the weekend, thinner just before the next weekend, repeat again. It's a vicious cycle that's starting to make my neck look horrible.

My aunty ( bless her soul ) made me coconut candy yesterday. Now I have a small tupperware full of coconut candy in my fridge. It tastes as exquisitely wonderful as ever, and I really can't remember when was the last time I ate coconut candy. That coconut taste is truly sublime. She'll be off to Seremban with my uncle next weekend, so my father will only get his bubur hitam the week after next. And my aunty's bubur hitam is yet another wonder of the culinary world - thick and black, it is absolutely rich when you pour some coconut milk on it ( which turns it grey ).

Unfortunately, all this is really - REALLY - fattening. Therefore, I only get them in minute portions ( a small tupperware at most ). You see what happens when you're fat? Watching my food has never been so painful.

Sunday, October 27, 2002

It's been a long day. The morning started off with a quick trip to Ipoh and back for breakfast ( heh heh ), and then there was this afternoon stupor in Mich C's room where I mindlessly played Diablo 2. After that was a panic attack of the car battery - I swear these things happen so often it's almost the norm. And then it was off to Island Plaza with Mich C, my little sister, Hel and the Simoniac where we all took a trip down the Road to Perdition with Tom Hanks and a little kid. I think it's a good movie. It's not that good an adaptation of the original graphic novel - they took out all the ubercool gunfights, so it really wasn't the shootfest which I was hoping for. However, as a movie it stands alone very well. There's closure, there's characterization, there's even a bit of comedy thrown in... people might avoid this movie because they think it's a father-son flick ( and it is, in a way ), but it's highly watchable. Especially if you're into story and 1930s American gangsters ( complete with tommyguns ). Sure, it wasn't exactly what I wanted after I read the graphic novel, but it could have been so much worse.

Just before the movie, I managed to get my Schindler's List soundtrack from Disc & Dat. I truly like this score - the violin is suitably depressing on any day of the week. The idea of being able to order soundtracks through Disc & Dat is really appealing, although the guy there told me that the chances of me getting the soundtrack of The English Patient is very low because the company had stopped producing that CD or something. Oh well, I guess I'll just sit back and enjoy the violin solo from Schindler's List. Ooh... haunting.

Friday, October 25, 2002

I have the office all to myself again! Whee! *spins round and round in the chair*

Actually I just took a short nap. I lack sleep ( big surprise, duh ), and I think I've managed to get to that point where the moment I close my eyes and lie back, my mind just runs away somewhere. That's because when I napped just now, I *know* I had this weird dreamy flashes. Very very fast dreams which drifted away like smoke the moment I woke up. And there were many of them. Yay, I'm seriously lacking sleep again.

I would like to take this opportunity to announce that I am once again a licensed driver. My driver's license has finally been renewed after it expired on the ninth of October. This isn't that bad - last time, I was driving without a license for seven whole months of blissful ignorance. Hey, I didn't know we had to renew our licenses then. It's just another stupid money-making ploy to suck more money from the citizens. I do so protest ( mainly because I tend to forget )!

And now, the results for this week's poll are:

The Question: Fear is:
Total number of votes: 10

Vote breakdown:
1. That which renders us helpless and immobile. (3)
2. A good motivational emotion which can be controlled. (4)
3. The mindkiller. (2)
4. What I live in everyday. (0)
5. Fear? What is fear? (1)

Well, at least no one lives in fear. Four thinks fear is good motivation, three gets caught like a deer in the headlights, two probably read Frank Herbert's Dune and one fellow here doesn't know what fear is. A person who doesn't know what fear is... I admire that.

This next poll is inspired by one of Joie's posts.

Thursday, October 24, 2002

A word about lack of sleep: It is not good.

I was napping away in the office when one of my colleagues decided to come back from lunch. I snapped awake at the sound of the keypad, and I think all that snapping awake has given me a headache. You try going from asleep to wide awake in a split-second. It's a bit disorientating, and I bet somewhere along the way, the brains shifted a little inside the skull. It's like one moment the head's in a reclined position, then less than a second later it's upright. The brains, which are still asleep, probably got left behind in the reclined position as sitting upright was a natural reaction to the sound of the keypad. One of these days, I'm going to get my brains turned upside down.

Wednesday, October 23, 2002

On the Late Night Show with Nicholas Prose last night, I managed to breed white Bengal tigers, okapis and black leopards in Zoo Tycoon. Huz-zah! I'm the Breederman!

And today, I'm testing out my new underwear. Diesel, it says on the tag. Nothing to do with Vin Diesel or the type of gasoline used to power a diesel engine. It's just a brand name. I think it could be one size too small though, cause my balls feel like they're suffocating.

Testicles: *choke* *choke* Can't... breathe...
Me: Hold on, I'll go into the corridor and air you two.

The danger of being labeled a flasher should I get caught doing that is pretty high, which is why I go to the window by the stairs and air them. Fresh cool air from outside. As long as the guys don't decide to take a cigarette break, I'm happy, me ballies are happy and happy are those who have not seen and will probably never see.

Tuesday, October 22, 2002

I think I'm breeding worms in my stomach. After lunch yesterday, I was still hungry. After dinner last night, I was still hungry. After lunch today ( and I took a cup of Milo just to make sure that I would be full ), I was still hungry. My stomach's bloated up, but I doubt it's gas. More likely water ( to quell the hunger I drink lots of water ). Water, or lots of happy worms joyriding around the intestines. I don't feel sick or icky though. I just feel... hungry. And now that it's past 2pm, I also feel sleepy. So it's barely two hours after my Milo and plate of rice and vegetables lunch and I'm already hungry. I think it's obvious this little diet isn't going well.

Anyway, the admin lady Jenny is leaving soon. In her place is another lady called Connie. Before Jenny there was Rosie. After Connie leaves there will be admin ladies called Penny, Sandy, Sally, Andie, Debbie and Cindy. There will not be any admin ladies called Susan, Hannah, Rhonda, Joanne, Diane or Linda. Company policy, you see.

Monday, October 21, 2002

Along with Monday comes the usual bloat-o-rama which plagues me at the beginning of every week. Last night's double dinner with Von Darke, Maxwell Durnik and his girlfriend was a little too extravagant. The first part of the meal started in New Lane, where there were juicy fried oysters and a nice big piece of fried fish to the tune of RM15. All that in addition to our individual meals. I had the curry mee which used to cost RM1.20 back in the days when Saturday evenings meant church, dinner with my extended family and hopefully a free comic / storybook. It's now RM2.00 per bowl. A drizzle later chased us off to the sheltered Kimberley Cafe ( located in Kimberley Street ). There, we had satay and loh bak. All in all, a rather splendid dinner. But I'm pretty sure I'm going to pay for my gluttony in the toilet in the days to come. Ass-ripping good time, anyone?

Apart from the pain I've foreseen in the very near and dear future ( "OH! GOD!" *hits toilet walls in agony* ), it was nice meeting Maxwell and his girlfriend again. I used to eat lunch with this guy and two other folks five days a week so long ago. Ah, that was a time when I had lunch with actual people. I must be getting old, cause I think I miss those days. The chicken rice then was absolutely splendid, and the mee goreng with all the extra ingredients made life worth slogging through for just another day.

Toilet update: Thanks to Forlax, my last toilet trip just before lunch didn't turn out to be a hellish nightmare. But the stomach's still bloated though.

Sunday, October 20, 2002

Empty shell, empty shell
Break the egg and go to hell.

A walk in the park in the dark on a lark gets you farked.

Saturday, October 19, 2002

All this restlessness I've been feeling has got to be building up to something. Otherwise, it's going to be rather anticlimactic. Imagine losing interest in everything piece by piece. One day, it's the books. The next day, it's the porn. Then... nothing happens. You just remain an empty shell for the rest of your life. No epiphany. No breakdown. No losing grip of reality ( although I have been seeing flashes of late ). Now that will really suck. I can't imagine having to feign interest in my work from now till the day I die. The tedium would drive me insane. And then when they throw me into the asylum with white walls, the tedium will drive me more insane than insane. All things considered, that should be a more cheerful experience than pretending to be working everyday.

Friday, October 18, 2002

It's a rather uneventful Friday. The week's work's been done and completed, and we met the deadline. And now I'm floating around waiting for something humongous in my mail to download. It's so big, it's taking up A LONG LONG TIME. This is the problem when your office colleagues stream music from the Internet. Anyways, on to the tallying of this week's vote:

The Question: What should we do to rapists?
Total number of votes: 9

Vote breakdown:
1. Jailed / whipped / fined. (1)
2. Raped in return with a hot poker. (4)
3. Painfully castrated. (0)
4. Given the DEATH PENALTY. (1)
5. All of the above. (3)

We're all for the pain. Rapists are scum. I'm scum too, but they're way scummier, on a whole new level which I can never hope to reach. I was telling Chris from Bentong that my fall from grace was never complete. I was once the law-abiding citizen, then somewhere along the line I fell and became more chaotic. But I never reached rock bottom. I was never fully pure undiluted scum. But rapists... they're truly scum. Full-on scum.

I'm not sure if jail-whip-fining them will work. I'm sure the hot poker treatment will either kill them, cure them of anymore ungodly thoughts or turn them into horrible beasts. Castration is a mite unfair, or is it? The death penalty could be heavy, but maybe it's not. But for some of those SCUM, we need ALL OF THE ABOVE. ALL OF THE ABOVE, YOU HEAR ME?

Thursday, October 17, 2002

You would think that the roads of Georgetown wouldn't be busy so close to midnight. Last night, the streets were low on zoomage and high on the crawlage factor. I was expecting the usual hellriders to be whizzing past me but nooo - I got stuck behind quite a few cars carrying full loads of passengers. Some of those passengers even peered at me. I was so tempted to wave back and wink. That's what happens when you have an espresso frappucino ( venti ) for dinner.

When I got back, the clothes hadn't been thrown into the washing machine yet ( big surprise ). Due to the coffee, the wait for the clothes to finish washing and the fact that some Indians downstairs were blaring out crap music, I ended up testing out stuff on my MUD. A bit about those Indians - they were on the ground floor. I live on the 18th floor. The sound was loud enough to bother me. I hope they got arrested or something.

Oh look, Joie awarded me the Weblogger With The Quickest Wit Award. That's awfully nice of her, and I'm not entirely sure I deserve that, but I'll just grin and happily accept it ( gimmegimmegimme ). Thanks, Joie :).

Wednesday, October 16, 2002

Here I am, in the office again. Somehow, with a full stomach and more than enough sleep the night before, the cold doesn't seem to be affecting me as much as last night. Last night was BAD. I went home and had dinner past 10pm. That resulted in an increased intensity of the headache and a very very very uncomfortable stomach. So uncomfortable until I had to walk around the house like a zombie bumping into some piece of furniture every now and then. The discomfort subsided a little after I downed a glass of Eno, but I still went to sleep with that headache and a fear that I would wake up puking all over my bed. Aye, it was terrible.

Not so today. I think we could make the deadline. And to make up for the upset last night, I had a sandwich and an espresso frappucino from Starbucks. The frappucino will probably take effect just as I'm about to go to sleep tonight. But now that my hunger needs have been satisfied, I can concentrate on my job better. Even though it's... er... past 10pm again.

Plus points: Work virtually done, deadline can probably be met, no headaches ( woo-hoo! ).
Minus points: Couldn't go see Mich C tonight, probably can't sleep later, managers will make last minute changes tomorrow ( doh! ).

Tuesday, October 15, 2002

The cold... it presses down on the skull. I feel like a big invisible hand is squeezing my brains. Obviously, it's both painful and uncomfortable. But I'm still stuck in the office because a manager who, once again, doesn't know how to manage time decided that he wanted the world just this afternoon. I really hate it when they pull that off on us. They couldn't have decided on this LAST WEEK? They had to come to this decision like TWO FREAKING DAYS BEFORE IT'S NEEDED?

I've finally realized what makes a product bad - it's not the engineers, it's the damned managers. Managers who promise the client everything including the kitchen sink when their companies don't even deal with plumbing. Managers who think that everything is simple when they themselves don't even know what's going on. Managers who assume too much and end up landing the engineers into hot soup. Damnable managers. I wonder why they're even called managers in the first place.

Monday, October 14, 2002

Last Monday I was abjectly depressed. This Monday, I'm feeling sick and shitty. I have mucus running down all over my black shirt, and it shows. Whoever who had the idea of bombing those tourist spots in Bali did not help me feel better. In fact, my blood went chilly when I woke up and saw the headlines this morning. I find it tragic how we just can't stop going around killing each other. I mean, what did those poor folks in the nightspots do to deserve a fiery death? I myself don't like nightspots and I sure as heck don't approve of them, but I don't go around killing people who patronize such places, okay. I don't even destroy the establishments. The most I do is bitch about them.

Personally, I think these bombers, suicide and otherwise, are hitting the wrong people. At any rate, they managed to piss off Australia.

Sunday, October 13, 2002


God, this is one GOOD series. So far, I've only managed to watch the two-parter pilot ( which, er, was supposedly never screened ) and the first episode ( 'The Train Job' ), but I'm sold. I'm SOLD. Yes, I love Buffy. Yes, I love Angel. And only three episodes of Firefly and I'm already there with the cast of Firefly. It's like post American Civil War meets Wild West meets science fiction. A nine character main cast - the captain, the soldier, the mercenary, the pilot, the mechanic, the 'companion' ( high class prostitute heh heh ), the mercenary, the doctor and his little kid sister. Thing is, I couldn't really differentiate the six characters of Friends until a few episodes, and I already know who's who in Firefly after three episodes. Maybe I just like Joss Whedon's writing.

I'll be getting the DVDs for this series too. But wait, it's Fox. And the X-Files DVDs from Fox cost like USD100 each. Oh man...

Saturday, October 12, 2002

Ever had one of those days when you felt like the whole world was against you? This is one of those days for me. Not a kind word since morning, and even my computer decided to turn against me. I don't know if I would be feeling better had I not stayed back till nearly midnight in the office last night. Probably not, but you can never tell. Now I'm going to stop using the computer for awhile. This shitty inability to reinstall my older display drivers is killing me.

Friday, October 11, 2002

Vote results:

The Question: What is the best remedy for mouth ulcers?
Total number of votes: 9

Vote breakdown:
1. Some wonder mouth ulcer drug / paste. (2)
2. Coffee powder. (0)
3. Lots of rest and water, cut down on the stress. (1)

Guess that most of us are suckers for punishment. Does anyone know how painful salt is? I especially love that squeezing feeling right after contact with salt - oh sweet pain how I love thee. And sometimes, the ulcer might even bleed. Of course, you could always apply that drug / paste thingy ( like two other folks who voted ) - it's usually rather painless, possibly offers a faster healing period and it's more than likely more expensive than salt. Or just be stoic about it and get more rest and water.

So the ulcer / tongue wound of mine has gone away, and I'm happily ingesting small amounts of fish curry everyday during lunch. Now that's occasion to be happy, except that I do still have to watch my food, else my ass gets ripped apart again by Painful Shit From Hell. It's curious, but I never really considered the fact that my stomach would be the source of so much hot stuff.

Elsewhere in Kajang, some sick shit threw a girl off a bridge before raping her at knifepoint. Read it online at The Star. So he causes her grievous injuries, violates her, robs her and then leaves her to die. I hope they catch the perp, throw him off abridge, cut off his dick and leave him there to die.

Thursday, October 10, 2002

It's been hectic. No wonder why my hair is turning white. One of the downpoints of not liking to stay back in the office is that you have to complete your job within the eight hours or so everyday. And when there's a looming deadline and a lot of work to be done... sigh. Sometimes, I feel like banging my head against the wall. Most times though, I feel like throwing a manager or two out of the 26th floor. Anyway, the office emptied itself en masse at 5.45pm this evening. It's probably the first time I felt connected to my colleagues.

Wednesday, October 09, 2002

Prosey croons:
Blue moon, you saw me standing alone,
Without a dream in my heart,
Without a love of my owwwwwwwn...

I wish I could actually turn into a werewolf. Then I'll hop on a plane to Hong Kong and go spill some manager blood. What is it with managers and time management anyway? Why are managers known as managers when they can't even manage their own time? These questions and more plague my mind tonight. And might I say that some people's lack of faith in me is disturbing *heavy breathing, Force-grips some manager to death*.

Well, screw those Philistines.
‘Cause I got faith of the heart,
I’m going where my heart will take me,
I've got faith to believe,
And no one’s gonna bend or break me
I can reach any star
I got faith . . . faith of the heart.
*sound of the Enterprise going into warp*

Tuesday, October 08, 2002 - in case you ever need to use Internet Explorer 1.0. Or any other older versions of software such as WinAmp or Power Archiver.
The Manic Depression strikes back! And it took me LOW with a capital L-O-W yesterday. I think the fact that it was Monday along with the heat contributed to it - being in the Office From Hell ( heatwise ) pushed the already sad mood down to all the normal feelings of uselessness and depression. Come to think about it, they're not all that normal after all, cause the Dark Side hasn't been so strong for such a long time. Thank God for Chris ( of Bentong fame ) - he pulled me out of that slump with some philosophical discussions about God. I don't think it's over though. I nearly burst out into song while walking from my car into the office this morning ( manic ), but that could have just been an oversaturation of the songs from the Buffy musical.

Monday, October 07, 2002

One, or maybe more, of the air-conditioners in the office broke down. It is now uncomfortably warm and disturbing. There's like this layer of heat all over the body. I know it's raining outside cause I just had my lunch in the shop downstairs but inside the office, it feels like a microwave on reheat. The terrible warmth has probably seeped into my head too, cause I feel another headache coming on. These headaches, by the way, are getting too frequent for comfort. I don't know what it heralds - the last time I had a spate of headaches, I ended up wearing spectacles. Multiple headaches are never a good sign.

The Chinese economy rice shop has closed for the week due to the vegetarian season ( all nine days of them ). I ended up trying the Malay nasi kandar stall ( the only other stall in the place apart from the drinks stall ), but instead of rice, I opted for a plate of beehoon and some egg. They were nice and tasty at RM2. The fish curry which I not-so-generously splattered around my beehoon was spicy but nice, reminding me of a roti canai stall along Anson Road which has closed down a long time ago. I miss that stall, and especially the fish curry there.

Sunday, October 06, 2002

It's not even noon and the day is already turning out to be one of them BAD DAYS. After only five hours of sleep, my sister woke me up to fetch her to tuition again. I woke up tired, cause I was really hoping to get at least eight hours. And when I got back, some lorry buying old mattresses ( or possibly selling new mattresses ) made its rounds, with the idiot driver pressing on the horn A LOT. Heck, that was 10am and it's already past 11.30am and he's STILL DOING IT. At 11am just now, my father decided to inform me that I was the one who was going to fetch my sister home, even though I already asked him to fetch her earlier when he asked me. And now my bladder is full and he's washing the toilet. This is one of those days that can really push me over the edge.

Saturday, October 05, 2002

Kenny Rogers at Prangin Mall suffers from bad food and bad service. Mich C and I went there with the Simoniac after bumping into him at Prangin Mall, and God, their macaroni and cheese has really gone down the drain - it tastes like plain macaroni with some diluted cheese sauce. And they managed to forget Mich C's Coke and screw up the Simoniac's order BIG TIME.

Now I've just eaten a papaya which is around two weeks old, and I think I'm going to go puke later. Or maybe shit out watery stuff. Urgh.

Friday, October 04, 2002

Vote results:

The Question: Is sleeping in the office an honourable pastime?
Total number of votes: 7

Vote breakdown:
1. It's okay if you're tired and you've no work. (3)
2. Only during lunch. (1)
3. No, you'll be cheating your employers. (2)
4. Pastime? Sleep's what I do in the office. (1)

It's okay if you're tired and you've no work. (3)
This really works, you know. No work, go sleep instead of eating up the company's bandwidth and downloading porn. When work comes, you'll be all fresh and ready to take on the world. Sadly, most employers are not that understanding. They see a sleeping employee, that poor chap's probably fired soon regardless of whether that employee had work or not at that time. But for the three folks who voted for it - you understand the concept of a regenerative productive workplace.

Only during lunch. (1)
I think that if an employee wants to sleep during lunch, there shouldn't be a problem with it. My managers back in eBX were pretty okay with it. In fact, at least one was happier with me sleeping than me playing Quake 2 against the other guys in the department. So whoever who voted for this, we're in this together, choomba.

No, you'll be cheating your employers. (2)
This boils down to whether you're happy with your employers or not. Personally, I don't think this is too big a deal, especially if you followed Choice No. 3 and applied the formula LunchTime = PrivateTime. Unless, of course, you two are pretty conscientious folks.

Pastime? Sleep's what I do in the office. (1)
If you - the one person who believe in this - actually manage to do this in a workplace where you're employed... damn you lucky bastard. To date, only the Simoniac has managed to pull this one off with incredible results ( sleeping at work and getting richer at the same time ), but not anymore.

Okay, I'm pretty cranky as I just went through a short period of unsleep ( the kind where you close your eyes in the office but can't sleep ) during lunch. Add in a a bad headache, a persistent ulcer which refuses to go away and a tongue wound which seems to have festered into an ulcer and... aaaargh.

Thursday, October 03, 2002

Happiness is not the bitten tongue ( again ) and that ulcer on my lower lips. I really need to stop biting my tongue when I'm eating. Even the papayas taste painful. Heck, the soup bites into the wound. Maybe the lady shouldn't have put so much pepper into it. Urgh, the horrors of a wounded tongue. This is twice in a year, and I've had years where I never even bit my tongue once. I've also forgotten my handphone twice in two days ( had to go up to the flat again to get it )... this lack of sleep is getting to me.

Wednesday, October 02, 2002

I really appreciate how my managers love to send me things in the middle of the week and expect them done 'by the end of this week'. There should be a 7-day rule for the stupid stuff I'm supposed to do for them. At any rate, I'm aching to leave the office now, but I've a 5MB file to send to some folks somewhere, and the line has gone pretty slow for no apparent reason. Someone's probably streaming Internet music or something. Scum!

Tuesday, October 01, 2002

The Telekom guys came today to fix my Streamyx line. I'm going to be a hundred RM or so poorer every month, but hey, at least I'm broadband. Or, given TMNet's track record, perhaps semi-broadband. Von Darke, Hel and the Simoniac turned up for an impromptu download party before we adjourned to KFC for dinner. The signs are good, but not for my wallet. Not with this drain every month.