Saturday, October 19, 2002
All this restlessness I've been feeling has got to be building up to something. Otherwise, it's going to be rather anticlimactic. Imagine losing interest in everything piece by piece. One day, it's the books. The next day, it's the porn. Then... nothing happens. You just remain an empty shell for the rest of your life. No epiphany. No breakdown. No losing grip of reality ( although I have been seeing flashes of late ). Now that will really suck. I can't imagine having to feign interest in my work from now till the day I die. The tedium would drive me insane. And then when they throw me into the asylum with white walls, the tedium will drive me more insane than insane. All things considered, that should be a more cheerful experience than pretending to be working everyday.