Monday, June 30, 2003

Discovered in office fridge today: One forgotten can of Coke
Maximum lifetime expectancy: Tomorrow afternoon

Dealing with stuff can happen in a lot of ways. You can grief. You can submerge yourself in work. You can undergo a redefinition of your life. You can jack off till your dick falls off ( or wither away, depending on which venereal disease you're currently having ). Or, you could even spend the whole night mass murdering Chinese warriors in a battlefield as a Dynasty Warrior.

There's a lot of rage in life. A lot of anger. And the best way to deal isn't always as clear-cut as one would like it to be. After watching Hulk yesterday, I do so want to grow into a green giant and go bounce around the place. I imagine it must be very liberating. Of course, I'll need to get caught in the blast of a gamma experiment gone wrong for that to happen. So. Probably no jolly green giant transformations for me in the literal sense. In the figurative sense, ah...

The company's sending me to Hell Kong. Training, apparently. There is much reluctance on my part. I see unnecessary expenditures on the horizon, and for one whole week ( that's the duration of the time I'll be there ), my life will be thrown into disarray as I'm forced to bear with the inconvenience of being somewhere I do not want to be. Someone told me that I should be thankful that I even get to travel. I say there's nothing to be thankful for if I do not want to travel in the first place. Not to Hell Kong, of all places. I want to go take pictures of the Tower of London. Roll all over the rolling hills of Scotland ( as advertised by Von Darke, but he might have been distracted by the ubiquitious sheep there ). Sail down the Nile. I don't want to go back to HK. I don't see the appeal of the place. What's there in HK which I might be interested to see in whatever little time there is left in between my training sessions? Ocean Park? There won't be enough time to go anywhere but back to the hotel after the training every day. And knowing those HK folks, they probably work late anyway. Sigh. More overtime ( unpaid, of course ) on the horizon.

An employee's got to do what his employers want him to do though. I've made my feelings about the matter known to my management - I hope they're still deciding if they want to send me or someone else. An unhappy employee does not an easily trained employee make. Not that anyone else here is even remotely interested to go to HK. Unlike everyone else who keep telling me that they would like to exchange places with me in regards to the HK trip ("Why don't you want to go? It's Hong Kong! You stupid fool, this is a brilliant opportunity!"), my colleagues know the score. They know how the only other places you'll get to see there apart from your hotel room is the seminar room where the training will be held and the insides of the HK main office. You want to shop? Only if you're lucky enough.

Get this right. My trip to Hell Kong is not a vacation. It is a working trip where I'll be marginally trained in the basics of some obscure application and be expected to know every single thing about it when I get back. There will be no happy outings. There will be no visits to Ocean Park. There will only be the hotel room, the HK office, the training room ( which could be in the HK office itself ), the airport and maybe a few eating places. If I am lucky, I'll be able to go back to my hotel room right after the training sessions everyday. If I'm luckier still, my hotel room will have Astro, and I'll get to watch Buffy and Angel on Thursday night. Chances are, I'll end up working late with the rest of the HK folks. Fun is not the adjective to describe this trip. Valid adjectives are painful, miserable, lonely, exploitative, rage-inducing and extremely uncomfortable. There will be money - my money - spent for no other reason than this trip. Money that I cannot get refunded. There are very few positive outcomes which can come out of this trip. One of them involves me saving the plane from potential militant hijackers with an Arnold-like German anti-terrorist trainee called Klaus and a leggy red-haired French uberbabe called Alexis. The other involves my plane crashing into the sea resulting in my most untimely death - this might not sound too positive, but at least I'll never have to tolerate yet another trip to Hell Kong.

Have I made it obvious enough? I do not want to go on this trip. I am most unhappy about it.

It's my blog so I'll bitch if I want to
Bitch if I want to
Bitch if I want to
You would bitch too if it happened to you.

Sunday, June 29, 2003

Yet another advertisement to expand, lengthen and enlarge myself safely and naturally. Bah.

They closed down Times in FIMA / Penang Plaza / Giant. This probably won't mean a thing to anyone, but for me... ah, it cuts deep. All those wonderful hours spent browsing through those books with that cold air-con. That place had the Forgotten Realms and Dragonlance novels, the graphic novel of David Gemmell's Legend ( a graphic novel, I shit you not, and I saw it there ), Fighting Fantasy books, Fighting Fantasy's Titan, 2000ADs, Famous 5(!), Enid Blytons and so much more. I even saw the Roswell books there a long time before I watched the series. And in the early days, that was where I got my GI Joe and Transformers comics ( among other titles, which included Marvel's What If?, Spider-Man, Batman, Alf and etc. ).

The end. Now I know how some folks feel about the Galleria. It's never been the same after the quake of '94. The same can be said of Times too - of late, its selections haven't been as awe-inspiring as they once was. But it was still home. Everytime I walked into it, I got that "hmm I wonder if they have any good new stuff". Times in Island Plaza might look 'classy' and it might come with Buffy trade paperbacks, but it's just not the same. It's not freezing cold. It's not bright. I just can't get that "ooh bookshop I'm so excited let's see what's new" feeling when I step into it. It's just not the bookshop. This is so depressing on so many levels.

I guess all the best things in life live on in our memories. All good things come to an end, and when they do, the passing of time and the harsh realities of the present gloss them over and they end up as golden memories.

Wednesday, June 25, 2003

It's raining. Rain at midnight usually puts me into a mood most unfit for company. Now, though, I just feel empty and listless. Poor Canny Ong has not gone unnoticed. It only serves to drive in the fact yet again that the world is not a safe place. It's never been a safe place, really. People die everyday, sometimes in large numbers at the hands of other people. Humans inflict vicious acts against their own kind ( and other kinds too, but the systematic extinction of non-humanoid lifeforms is usually only taken note by a few conservation groups ). Sigh. What a happy species we are.

Friday, June 20, 2003

What the- They removed Tara's song from the Buffy musical! How could they! It was one of my favourites ( another one's Tara and Gile's duet, and the ensemble number Walk Through The Fire and aargh I think I like everything in that episode )! The musical's one love ballad ( a darn good one too ), and the censors snipped it off because it was from a girl to another girl? Oh man, can you just feel the homophobic love oozing out from the censorship department? Okay okay, so maybe Tara and Willow's relationship did make more than a few girls think that lesbianism and Wicca is cool, but that number was art! Art, I tell you, art showcasing Amber Benson's very talented vocals! Right from the dreamy bright lighting down to the dancing in the park Tamil movie elements! Oh well. Maybe the usually dumb censors caught on to the floating girl-girl action. Sigh.


Thursday, June 19, 2003

Tuesday was like, banking day. I toured the banks of Penang, updating some rather dormant accounts and trying to get all my ATM cards changed to the new bank card. The weather helped a lot by being rainy - my journey was wet and chilly, but at least I didn't have to bake under an uncaring sun. Ambank and Southern Bank were out of cards ( come back next month, sir, cause the deadline has been extended to September ), but Maybank changed my card for me right there and then ( albeit after a short wait at the Customer Service desk ), while BSN promised to send me a letter in a week's time to come collect my brand new matrix card or something. I also went to the EPF office to name my next of kin - if I somehow have to sacrifice my life to save the world from destruction, my EPF money won't go to the government, but to my parents.

Last night, I watched episodes three and four of the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles series, and I'll have to admit - they're eXcellent! Maybe I was a little bit duh back in the days of the original TMNT, but now I see more clearly defined personalities in the four turtles. Donatello isn't all that cool anymore, Michaelangelo is actually funny, Raphael has some serious rage issues ( Ralph and Casey Jones have... uh, chemistry ) and Leonardo's in the potentially cool leader category. I'm finally getting the hang of Splinter's accent after four episodes, and April's still a babe, though she's no longer with Channel 6. And when the title theme tells us to watch out for Shredder, it's really serious, cause Shredder seems waaay more sinister than the bumbling fool of the old TMNT. The one's really sinister, and after four episodes, we have yet to see him don his Shredder outfit ( which has gotten a new makeover look too ). The Foot Clan has been seriously upgraded, and the story's slowly building up. I do like the new format the series has taken. Instead of separate episodes each week, every episode is somehow linked to the next, giving it a nice flow. Think Alias sans the irritating cliffhangers.

My overzealous consumption of dried chillis yesterday sent me to toilet purgatory today. There's this eXtreme discomfort in my stomach, compounded by the overwhelming need to shit. But nussin' comes out after I've painstakingly removed enough clothing to claim the toilet throne as my own. Now there's this burning feeling around the anus, and all I can do is grimace and dimly notice that the toiletbowl cover was manufactured in Thailand. Lots of Thai characters there. I should know. I have no idea how to read Thai, yet I've been working with the glyphs for the past few weeks.

Tonight on Star World: Buffy the Musical ( Life's a show, and we all play our parts / And when the music starts / We open up our hearts ), and Darla comes to visit on Angel!

And remember you're never fully dressed
Though you may wear the best
You're never fully dressed - with - out - a - smile! Smile! Smile!
Smile darn ya smile!

Gotta love those kids, they're SO cute. Now, if only I can get that song out of my head. It's been playing over and over again along with Robbie Williams' Beyond the Sea and the overture from Okhlahoma. If this condition persists, my life is going to turn into Prose the Musical.

Friday, June 13, 2003


Wednesday, June 11, 2003

With a lack of sleep, I would have thought that I would be half dead by now. Strangely, that is not the case. In fact, I'm feeling very restless. Just exploding with positive energy. I have these sudden urges to jump around. Or maybe go run around a large field. Just... just bursting with restlessness, y'know? And I shouldn't be complaining, cause the alternative is a stint in Sleepyland. But I am complaining - it's really distracting when you get the sudden urge to jump up and sucker punch the nearest colleague in the balls while you were peacefully trying to decipher Thai characters. Work becomes an exercise in self-restraint and control. And all this... energy! Am I heading for self-combustion? I wonder if this is all due to too much energy food - at 1am last night, I was still burping out fishy smells ( courtesy of dinner ). Lesson to the open minds out there: Stuffing yourself with fried fish isn't always good. But Good Lord, the head and the bones were crunchy.

Monday, June 02, 2003

When I looked at my face in the mirror this morning, I saw this red spot on my nose. It's just beneath where my glasses would sit on my nose, so it's pretty obvious for all to see. Not that anyone noticed. I work in a place where I'm pretty invisible. Then again, given the shade of red that spot is, maybe it isn't all that obvious anyway. No matter. The red spot was still there when I got home from work today. By then though, I looked pretty dead. It's amazing how you can look like a freaking corpse without feeling like one.

By the way, I'm currently experiencing some downtime. You know... loss of interest in just about everything, the old "sit down stare at the wall" routine, that "Gawd I'm such a failure" phase. Which is fun, yay to me, I hope the reboot comes faster this time. Cause it's just me against the world, people. Man, life can get real solitary.

Note: I resigned from the CircleMud I was working on yesterday. Visions of Eternity is THE MUD to work in ( matured coding and building team! ), except that they're running Circle, and I just can't get into Diku-like building style. OLC? Gimme LPC's offline editing then FTPing method anyday. Apologies to the Snake Lady - you were very nice, Athravan. Thank you for the hospitality. I'm also off Core and Coastal Legends. It was great while it lasted. Much thanks to Grey for the opportunity to code on his MUD, without whom my first encounter with programming and OO concepts might have been really painful. Okay, now I know why I'm really depressed. It's not easy breaking away from the mud you've been on since 1996.