Friday, September 26, 2003

As I sit here awaiting the return of His Darkeness, I remain fascinated by my fingernails. Amazing how they grow when you don't munch on them like they're Twisties. Small little bits of nail are beginning to grow out of them - I can now scratch the surface of my skin and leave little marks on it, but not effectively. Yet. I guess it's time to break out the nail file. Must keep them nice and even for the inevitable scratching later on. Although, truth be told, my nails are now very tempting. Today alone, I caught myself pulling my fingers away from my mouth in horror on more than a few occasions. I mean, toenails, they grow big enough for you to just pluck-and-peel-and-flick them off. But fingernails? Immense biteability. IMMENSE. Who can resist!

Thursday, September 25, 2003

I can't get the smell of the onions off my hands. Oh God, this is how murder is like, right? I know how murderers feel now. They can't get the smell of blood off their hands after they stab their victims to death. Me, I sliced up an onion REAL GOOD. Diced some parts of it into tiny little cubes, in fact. And now that oniony smell is here to stay. I'll be constantly reminded of my sin for the rest of my life. No amount of washing can ease my conscience.

Or maybe I should just use more soap.

In other news, I suspect that I twisted a leg muscle while lounging in my chair at work yesterday. Everytime I put some weight on my right leg, it's AAAAARGH. Sure, I can still drive a car and walk from the carpark to my house / workplace, but like last night, when I was standing around the hall and watching that episode of Buffy where Faith switched bodies with her? Accidentally shifted my weight to the right leg and it was Return to the Land of Inhumanly High-pitched Shrieking. Just like how the little children* do it, complete with post-shriek whining.

Memo to Diane: Do not attempt to emulate Buffy-Faith fight scenes with a twisted leg muscle.

*: This in no way means I like to play with little children. It's just that I'm pretty experienced at dropping heavy stuff on the toes of tiny toddlers.

Wednesday, September 24, 2003

And today, heh heh, I fried mee. Complete with oil, garlic, onions, chilli sauce and both light and dark ( heavy? ) soya sauce. The verdict? Not salty enough, but that was easily remedied with some light soya sauce. Apart from that, it was... bland. Yes, tasteless. But I don't mind. Now I can cook!

Yeah. Lame. I bet some people out there could cook the moment they pushed their way out of their mother's womb. I'm not one of them. But damnit, I'm learning how to cook my own food. That is, if I don't end up in the hospital tomorrow with food poisoning *gulp*.

Tuesday, September 23, 2003

Many thanks to Joie for pointing out that my comments were not working properly! In fact, they haven't been working for a long time now ( since my trip to Hong Kong ). That's the reason why I haven't been replying to comments - I thought there weren't any ( Comments[0] all the time kinda gives you that impression ).

Anyway, thank you to all those who have taken the time to add their comments here, and I apologize for a) not realizing that something was wrong sooner and b) having not replied to the earlier comments. My bad. *self-flagellates naked body*

Today in history: I FRIED EGGS ( and the kitchen didn't go down in flames )
Coming soon: I FRIED RICE ( and I didn't land up in the hospital after eating it )
My eyes finally fell out of alignment in a very obvious manner. My left eye now is slightly crooked. Sigh. First time ever I take up the fight against negative emotions and this happens. Unsightly physical marring. The almost-constant grimaces are warping my face too. Or maybe I'm getting fat. But the eyes? Way out of alignment.

I also have these weird scratches on my face, but I think that's because of my nails. Yes, today is the third day since I've attempted to stop my nail-biting habits. Not because it's a bad habit. Not because it's unhealthy. But because it gives me something to think about. I don't know how many people do it, but one of the ways to keep your mind off recent most unpleasant aspects of your life is to stop a bad habit. You go something like "Oh woe is me, life is horrible, I think I'm going to kill myself... NO. BAD FINGERS. NO BITING. BAD BAD FINGERS. *time passes...* Oh dear, I'm living in hell, I might as well go there altogether... *SLAP* BAD. NO BITING. KEEP FINGERS AWAY FROM MOUTH."

It does help a little. Really. Nowadays, I spend a lot of time admiring my growing nails ( omg dey r so pr3tty! ). Soon, instead of making vague clawing actions at people, I can actually claw them. Yay me.

Back to my unaligned eyes. I can think of one person who had rather unaligned eyes after something momentous ( in a negative impact way ) happened in her life. Judging from what happened after, the prognosis for us screwed-by-life unaligned-eyes folks seems pretty good.

So THERE you go. Hope for those who have none. We'll continue to fight the good fight. Bring light to the darkness. Help the hopeless. It's just that, you know, I never expected me to someday be one of the hopeless.

Thus bringing us to the Lesson of the Day: Pride Cometh Before the Fall.

Remember that, children, cause this could one day happen to you too.

Monday, September 22, 2003

New sexual perversion category: necropaedoralsnufhomobestianalincestorgyphilia

I *know* I might have missed out a few categories there, so don't bug me if your favourite perversion isn't there. It's been a long long Sunday-Monday transition, I just wasted an hour of my life reading a useless document sent to me by an ignorant salesguy, and I am human I need to be loooved, just like everybody else does.

Sunday, September 21, 2003

Diane, Sunday September 21st, 2003. Felt sick the whole of yesterday - the usual splitting headache due to the cold. Note to self: Cold is not always your friend - sometimes, it can kill. Also, fried rice with duck egg proved near fatal. Saturday night turned into a hellish nightmare of pain and suffering. Stomach returned to normal at midnight. Suspected semi-food poisoning - either the prawns, the egg or the chilli. Not an isolated event - sister suffered too because she ate the same thing.

Spent the whole of today getting Charmed by the Halliwell sisters. Rotten day overall apart from hanging with the sisters. Feeling better now in the night. Suspicions raised about me being a creature of the night.

Saturday, September 20, 2003

Don't you just love them cool rainy nights? You, the rain outside, thunder in the distance, the cool wind blowing around the house, George Romero's 'Day of the Dead' playing on the computer ( with the zombies going "gaa... gaa... gaa..." ), the neighbour's windows shutting because of the wind... it's a very relaxed way to spend the very early hours of Saturday. So maybe the rain did catch me by surprise. I rushed to the balcony to take in the clothes because seriously? Not really expecting another downpour after Friday's extremely wet and slippery ( in a rainy sense ) morning. Of course, 'take in the clothes' session was followed by 'deliciously hot shower' session. Because hot showers are always best when it's all cold and rainy outside. Brr... nice cool wind.

And I have this sudden craving for economy rice. In fact, I'm looking forward to a hefty plate of economy rice for my next lunch. Is it odd? Do other people look forward to eating economy rice? I can't say for sure, for though the thought of anticipating a relatively mundane meal might sound strange, it just seems so right.

Friday, September 19, 2003

Weekend countdown: 1 day to go

But I took leave today, so technically, the festivities have started.

Weekend countdown: NOW

Sadly, not much done today. It's been a cold and dreary day, the kind that makes you want to just lie down in bed and hibernate. Which, come to think about it, was what I did for the better part of the afternoon. Sleep. Rest for the weary.

I knew it. It is the weekend, and all I want to do is lie down and wait for it to pass.

Thursday, September 18, 2003

Weekend Countdown: 2 days to go

My Marmite-enriched meal last night was temporarily postponed to this morning's breakfast. I stopped by the economy rice stall when I reached home yesterday evening, and they had the juiciest looking ladies' fingers all nicely chopped up and oozing curry. Who could resist that?

On lunch detail today I had sandwiches. Prepared by Yours Truly. I've come a long way since my cornflakes and peanut butter and cheese sandwiches. Now it's Marmite on toast, cheese and margarine with toast and last but not least, a burger bun with garlic spread. Maybe toast wasn't such a good idea. My sandwiches had the texture of hard cardboard when I bit into them just now. Me tugging hard on the bread with my teeth brought to mind those National Geographic documentaries of the Serengeti lions having their meals.

Now that homemade sandwiches have been proven to be a viable lunch option, I think I'll move on to cooking stuff so that I can have a better meal. This does entail waking up earlier than usual just so that I'll have enough time to prep the food, cook it and wash everything up nicely. My father will not take kindly to our resident ants throwing a gala in the kitchen amidst the unwashed dishes. That aside, cooking could be worth it. Homemade fried egg with homemade fried mee for lunch? /drool.

Therefore, tomorrow might see the advent of the Incredible Omelette Experiments ( version 0.01a ). And if that doesn't spell the end of me, the future might even lead to Incredible Omelette & Mushrooms Experiments ( as recommended by William Von Darke ). Bon Appétit to me ( or Bon Voyage, given my track record at cooking ).

And now, for today's Words of Wisdom of the Day Award...
"If you start seeing other mushrooms growing on your mushroom, don't eat it."
- Chef Darke

Wise words indeed, whether it applies to real mushrooms or some guy's little mushroom.

Wednesday, September 17, 2003

Weekend Countdown: 3 days to go

Today on Prosey's NewsBytes...

MAN SUFFERS FROM MARMITE WITHDRAWAL
I'm suffering from Marmite withdrawal symptoms. It's been sometime since my last bowl of Marmite soup. I put too much Marmite in at that one time and ended up unable to shit for a few days ( too much salt ). But I've learned. Marmite is to be taken in small doses. Like my planned dinner tonight. Marmite spreaded thinly - T-H-I-N-L-Y - on toasted bread. Maybe I can dig out some mushroom soup ( Campbell's ) for that extra oomph. Mmm... marmite.

Read about Marmite, or visit the official site.


JOHNNY DEPP LEAVES, NEW EMPLOYEE GETS KEYS
Farewell O Noble Team Lead
Our team lead left the company on Monday. There goes the Johnny Depp lookalike. At least, he bears a slight resemblance to Johnny Depp's character in 'From Hell'. Nice guy, that. A new guy came in at the beginning of this month to take over Johnny Depp's project. And now that guy has been given the office keys. He's in for two weeks and he gets the office keys. I've been waiting for the office keys ever since I got in and the only time I'm given it is when the keyholders go on holiday. That's not all though. This new guy, he's friendly. Very friendly. Not friendly as in the "Come here let me give you a backrub" friendly, which would give me ample reason to bash his skull in with my keyboard. But friendly in a "I want to know everything you're doing" friendly. Maybe I'm being a little too hard on him. He might really be a nice guy. But at the moment, I still get these urges to kick him out of the window.

Find out more about Johnny Depp, or find out if you're an annoying colleague.


TONIGHT ON CHANNEL 9...
9.30pm: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
10.30pm: The Dead Zone

Get to know Buffy, or enter the Dead Zone.

Tuesday, September 16, 2003

Weekend Countdown: 4 days to go

And what happens when we reach the weekend? Quiet contemplation in the isolated sanctity of my abode, before the week begins anew. It's a vicious, vicious cycle.

Today we deal with the consequences of consecutive late nights. Barely coherent thoughts, constant dozing off, stinging eyes, the suicidal ordering of a large glass of teh tarik during my roti canai breakfast. So large a glass, in fact, that I am still full at a time when I should be wolfing down Twiggies. Perhaps it is the roti canai which overexpanded in my stomach after it mixed with the teh tarik ( which was too sweet ).

So here I am. Sleepy - I want to lie down and quietly pass away but that probably isn't acceptable in the office. Bloated - the teh tarik is still sloshing around my stomach with the half-digested remains of the roti canai swimming in it. Actually, the bloatedness is making me feel sick. I have this aftertaste of washing soap ( of all things ) at the back of my throat - quite a nausea-inducing taste, and the more water I drink to wash it down, the more bloated I get. Yay.

Monday, September 15, 2003

Weekend Countdown: 5 days to go

Not that I really bother with the weekend, but it gives me something to look forward to.

This morning was bright. Insanely bright. Bright in the "Tara ( God bless her soul ) serenading Willow in the park" bright. Surreal. KOMTAR reflected sunlight on me when I drove towards the traffic lights. The sun was so bright I couldn't even keep it in the peripheral of my vision. But when I woke up this morning, it was cool and nice. Like those wonderful December mornings during the school holidays of old. Makes you want to break out into song when you step out into the cold morning air and see a brilliantly bright Georgetown before you.

That's just outside, though. It's always brighter outside, isn't it? Except for the nights, when it's brighter inside. And even that gets dark after awhile.

Saturday, September 06, 2003

Today Antonio Babgafa got married. Von Darke cried at the wedding dinner.

Thursday, September 04, 2003

After all this time, I've finally found the lyrics. Not that it's of any use anymore. But you folks can sing it to your babies to lull them to sleep.


Brahm's Lullaby

Lullaby and good night
In the sky stars are bright
Close your eyes
Start to yawn
Pleasant dreams until the dawn

Close your eyes now and rest
Lay your head on my breast
Go to sleep now and rest
May your slumber be blest

- ( Listen )


Too little, too late. Maybe if I had found the lyrics above earlier, I wouldn't have to produce my own version below. Mine doesn't rhyme. My lyrics might be a little disjointed. Doesn't matter. It's just a song you can sing your suicidal babies to sleep with.


Prosey's Lullaby

Step away, from the ledge
You know that she's not worth it
Put that knife down
Come away
Slitting wrists won't solve your case

And your pain, will fade away
All you need is just time
Smile a bit, take some rest
Live to see another day.

- to the tune of Brahm's Lullaby