Wednesday, October 29, 2003

Prosey's Surefire Way To Get Yourself Killed Lunch #314:

  1. Make dry Maggi mee. In addition to the hot spices which came packaged with the mee, add in lots of white and black pepper. Put into plastic container ( microwave-friendly ) and bring to work.
  2. Buy a nice chunk of beef ( RM0.80) from the roti canai stall in Penang on the way to work. Since this is the puasa month, there won't be many people there.
  3. Wait until lunch rolls by.
  4. Add beef and curry to Maggi mee. Pop plastic container into microwave and heat up ( set Power Level to 600, time to 1 minute 30 seconds ).
  5. Wolf everything down in record time. Do not forget to lick up every drop of hot and deliciously spicy beef curry.
  6. Wash the food down with Neslo ( 1 packet 3-in-1 Milo, 2 teaspoons of Nescafe ).
  7. The suffering. The sweet, sweet suffering.
In retrospect, I should have washed everything down with Earl Grey instead. Oh well. There's always the 3pm cup of tea. If the beef curry and pepper combo hasn't burned a hole out of my stomach yet.

Oh God. Can you feel that? That's the beef curry and the hot spices playing hide and seek with each other in my intestines.

Coming soon: Prosey's Symphony of Pain & Agony in the Toilet No. 32

Tuesday, October 28, 2003

On the "Early Morning With Prosey" show today:

I have a little ulcer, small and white
It gives me headaches and fills me with spite
When the food is salty, hear me shout
This ulcer's murder, without a doubt.

Thursday, October 23, 2003

TechTest: Thumbnail Popups
Because us brooding dark avenger types take time off to screw around the Web too.
Hey grandma
Big dick!
She jacked it OFF

Darke's grandma. Looking as darke as eva.

Woman: "And his dick was SO big. True story, swear to God!"

The consequences of letting a tennis player jack you off. It's all in the wrist, baby.


PS: With much apologies to PhotoSig.

Thursday, October 09, 2003

Roswell season 3.
Dark Angel season 2.
Ah. Life.

Friday, October 03, 2003

Can I have some ice for my ass please?

I really, really hate shitting fire. Oops, did I say fire? More like volcano-fresh lava. The agony the pain IT BURNS IT BURNS! To give credit where it's due, I'll have to thank Yours Truly for this latest episode of Ass Gone Hot. First, there's the "chilli padi is the end-all and be-all of spices" mentality which MoronMe had during the cooking experiments. Rice tastes bland? Throw in more chilli padi! Fun for the whole family! And then, there's that infatuation with hot English mustard. For the HOT and BITEY flavour. I can tell you which part of my body feels hot and bitey right now. Scorchingly hot and bitey, in fact. Last but not least, Indian rice for yesterday's dinner as part of the pre-Buffy finale celebrations. Complete with God knows how many different curries, all of them hot. Oh, did I mention the curry mee I had for breakfast today?

Yay misery me. I'm just sitting down now. Having lots of water. Reflecting on today's two hot and lovely toilet trips so far ( where the one known as Nicholas Prose visited hell ). And so not looking forward to the next time I take the throne and excrete dark greenish chunks coated with my very own personal brand of flaming hot peri-peri sauce.

Thursday, October 02, 2003

That Hong Kong dog is doing very well to make me look inadequate. Sometimes, I wish that I had shoved him out of the window when I was in the Hong Kong office ( seventeen floors should be enough to kill anybody ). Then I wouldn't be here now, and you wouldn't be reading this. What difference a week can make sometimes. Now I sit here debating if I should give management more reasons to fire me. Doubtful that anything at this point would get me anywhere - I can see how retaliation on my part will play out, and there's no way I can win. Except for the one involving a plane ticket to Hong Kong and me dragging that scum along with me as I do a Leslie out of the main office ("We go to hell together, bitch!") - in that scenario, I do humanity a favour by helping to rid the world of two of its least desirable elements.

But this is not a world of heroes. This is a world where the selfish and the heartless step over everyone else and where no one really gives a shit about what happens to their fellow men. There's no such thing as a good person - the only good people are either found in secluded villages away from civilization or, more realistically, they've all been battered into dull-eyed participants of the mockery we call society.

That said, someone should hasten the end of the world. There's no such thing as an innocent left in this world, and we really would all be better off soaking up the flames in hell.

-

Sigh. Yes, that is a rant. No, I don't really believe that there are no good people left in this world, although I'm slowly getting there. Bitterness sets in after awhile in life.

In other news, Buffy season 6 and Angel season 3 ends tonight on Star World. They'll be screening Dark Angel season 2 ( final season - it was shelved after this ) and Roswell season 3 ( final season too ) next. Dark Angel is not Angel gone dark, nor is it about an Indian or African-American Angel.