Wednesday, July 27, 2005

The Domino Effect

We start off with yesterday. The training session I was looking forward to was brutally cancelled for me and another colleague because of some emergency development. I'm still seething here about it, but I try not to let it colour too much of my thoughts about management. This is work, yeah. Duty above all, baby.

And then again yesterday, while waiting for a meeting, one of my colleagues told the others that I looked like a papaya. In Mandarin. And of course everyone laughed. And then they laughed again when someone was kind enough to translate it to me. Actually they're still laughing about it today. I don't care how old they are, humans ARE cruel. Little bastards.

So I started off the day all weary and severely demotivated. The development emergency is a justified emergency ( kinda ), but I wish they had told us about it earlier. It's trudgingly painful work when the coding you do is akin to bashing a cement wall really hard to make a hole through it. The "fried brains" feeling I get at the end of the day would be equivalent to the bloody fists with shredded flesh and exposed bone.

Well, here I am now at the end of the day. Fried brains? Yeah. Feeling like my body shape is papaya-ish? Yeah. I can't really hate them for speaking the truth. It's not my fault that they derive enjoyment out of poking fun at other people's lesser points.

No wait. I must do away with the passive aggressive shit. Now that I'm aware of that, I'm starting to realize a) how passive aggressive I can get and b) that there are a lot of passive aggressive bastards around me. This is bad. We musn't be bad. We must be good and treat each other like proper human beings.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

It's another fun night at work. Today went mostly well. I tried my best to subdue my psychoses. I didn't lose my temper. I didn't fall into depression. I didn't chop anybody into tiny little pieces. Somehow, though, I'm not sure if this is how I cure myself, or if I'm just bottling stuff up so that I can explode in a rampage of violent genocide later. You know how things are. The normal guy next to you is so pathetically normal, and before you know it, he's gone and chopped up his entire department. I think everyone knows someone like that. I sure don't want to be that someone. Although, you know, departmenticide doesn't sound like too bad an idea at certain times of the day.

Monday, July 25, 2005

Sometimes, reading self-help books in order to perform self-therapy yourself can result in a massive dive in morale. Imagine reading a book about five different personality disorders. And then imagine finding out, upon self-diagnosis, that you suffer from each and every one of those disorders in varying degrees. I don't mean mildly suffering from those disorders - there's a fair amount of magnitude in how much I'm affected. To say that I'm screwed up up there might actually be a fair assessment of my mental condition.

Of course, I could be seeing assassins where there are only shadows. The gift of paranoia is mine, all of it. And from paranoia, I experience other personality disorders in lesser ( but nonetheless worrying ) degrees. Or so my paranoia tells me. I mean, I could just be mildly paranoid, ready to see the worst in everything. Or maybe I'm really constantly almost losing it but never really quite. Whatever the case, hehe, at least I know why life isn't all that boring for me as it is for some other people I know. Cause seriously, can life be boring if it's constantly under threat of crumbling apart?

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Brand's Essence of Chicken.

If they want to charge so much for it, why couldn't they make it taste BETTER? Damn, but that was horrible. I think I know how this increases your metabolism rate. It tastes so bad that it evokes nausea in the stomach, and that causes the whole body to revolt against the essence. Or maybe I shouldn't have downed it after a slice of papaya. Well, we shall see if I doze off at work again today. My colleague gave me a multivitamin yesterday which was also supposed to increase my metabolism rate, but I ended up sleeping after lunch.

Update at 2.51pm:
Damn thing didn't work. I nearly fell off my chair earlier at around 2.15pm.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

KWSP Tip of the Day:
And if you go to the KWSP website, you can register yourself (requires EPF pin number). Then you can go collect your PIN from the EPF office ( the new building near Citibank in town ). And then you can start checking up on your EPF account online. Apparently you can't do any transactions, but you can see how much you've accummulated so far. Apparently.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Interesting tidbit for those not in the know:
Daylight Savings Time begins on the first Sunday of April and ends on the last Sunday of October.

And I'm just a little bit more knowledgeable today than I was yesterday. All together now...

OH
YOU
LOOK
SO
BEAUTIFUL TONIGHT
In the city
Of blinding liiiiiiiiiights