Sunday, October 15, 2006

State of the Month October 2006

So here we are in the middle of the month. I wanna recap a couple of stuff which I've been wanting to blog about but never had the time until now.

The Wedding of Keantucky & Siput
Keantucky's this guy I've known since Standard 5. In fact, Standard 5 was the year he joined my primary school. That year, we became friends because we were both in the band together. Fast forward to being in the same class, joining the disciplinary boards, keeping in contact during the uni years (relatively, for I'm introverted) and then getting into the same company for our first job. Then he went off to KL to work, and now look, he finally married his university sweetheart Siput (who, fyi, is pretty hot - we cannot deny his good choice of mate).

For his wedding, Von Darke and I made a night trip to KL on Friday night after a lot of debate regarding the Penang Bridge jam. The WeiYi put us up in her house, where we whiled away the time watching Travel & Living and sipping whisky in the late hours of the day. Sunday night was the night of the wedding. It was a hazy day, but then, KL was hazy all the time we were there. We went off to Tropicana for first the wedding service (where I realized that the bible could get very sexist sometimes), and then the wedding dinner. It was nice to see my old friends again. Reminds me of the time back in school when I had more friends.

The New Team
Starting from this coming week, I'll be starting in a new project. Away from my old team. In fact, from what I've heard, I'll be working pretty much alone. Not that I mind, except that the nature of my new work seems to indicate that I'll just be cleaning up stuff and documenting the work of the senior engineer before me. It's just office boy work. And the senior engineer's going to get all the credit, so I'm going to end up doing essentially nothing for the next few months. I feel like MPPP. Or maybe a sacrificial lamb for someone else's convenience. But ah. What can I do? I'm being paid for this.

A New Laptop
My father's new laptop, wholly sponsored by me. That's a big dent in my bank account, largely because the purchase wasn't planned. It's a spiffy machine, endorsed by Von Darke himself. It'll arrive sometime this coming Monday. But, what a hole in the wallet. Right now, I've about RM100 to last until my salary is banked in again at the end of the month. Back to the days of university life, when RM100 could be stretched out to last one whole month. I'll need to lie low for awhile. Eat less. Eat cheap. Invest in a few packets of Maggi Mee.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Mantra of Serenity

In order to avoid a genocide on noisy people in my workplace, I repeat the following mantra:

My colleagues are retarded.
My colleagues are retarded.
My colleagues are retarded.
My colleagues are retarded.
My colleagues are retarded.
My colleagues are retarded.
My colleagues are retarded.
My colleagues are retarded.

Over and over again. The one sitting on the other side of the cube from me is the most retarded of all. Maybe he was dropped on his head when he was young. Maybe after he was orphaned, he had to make a lot of noise by himself to fend away the loneliness you would feel when your parents pass away when you're twelve. I don't know what his story is, but right now, the theory that he's noisy because of some severe mental retardation or trauma is the only thing keeping me from bludgeoning him to death with my brand new laptop.

I was actually contemplating on attending the teambuilding event this year. What the hell, right? Let's go out and make friends. After my office turned into a Beijing market this morning, they'll have to drag me to ANY event with them in chains, with me screaming bloody murder.

I'm sorry. I've actually been in rather high spirits ever since I came back from the KL wedding (which I *will* write about soon). Helped my mother with her PC hibernation issue. Bought a laptop for my dad (and I'll probably just starve for the rest of the month or something so he doesn't need to pay me back). But I just received news about my new assignment, and it's so not what I want to be doing for the next year or so. Add A WHOLE LOT OF NOISE IN THE OFFICE to that and my frame of mind just goes to hell. Everything I see is red now.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Mind Shift

There's this guy at work I would really love to kill. I want to bash his head in with one of the heavy walkie-talkies lying around. I want to wait in the carpark after work for him to make an appearance before ramming him down with my car. I want to kidnap him and torture him for the rest of my life. He really gets on my nerves with his constant noise. He sings (badly). He laughs loudly. He makes noises he thinks will amuse other people.

Today of all days, I feel at peace with his noise. Something in my mind shifted, and now I think he's just slightly retarded. I mean, I don't think he is. At least, the nice part of me doesn't. The dark blob of hateful darkness inside me INSISTS he's so retarded that he spends his free time staring into open space while drooling. The middle road Buddha in me calmly states that is merely him.

So I'm at peace. I might even nod encouragingly at him the next time he decides to shout at the OTHER retarded asshole on the other side of the office. I need to shift my mind even more to accommodate the rest of the people working here. Slowly. These things take time. This is a strange world indeed if I have to believe the worst of everyone in order for me to get along with them.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

At the Reception

So right. Yesterday was King Tut and Leaping's wedding. Von Darke and I actually arrived early, and he got drafted into becoming the photographer (cause the hired hand was late) while I got drafted into becoming the RECEPTIONIST. You know, the pretty girl who sits at a table and ticks off your name and gives you your table number? Yup, that was me. Except I ain't pretty and I've a perfectly functioning pair of balls and one nice long meat sausage dangling between my legs.

But hey. That was yesterday. Today is my girlfriend's godbrother's wedding dinner. She was the bridesmaid, so she was running up and down everywhere the whole of yesterday and today. We had a nice drive to Tanjung Country Club, and then somehow I ended up sitting behind the reception desk again. Overseeing the angpows again. It's an honour, yes, but I don't know why people keep trusting me with their money. Maybe I have that mafia hitman look. I know my cousin has the bouncer aura about him. You put money in front of him, no one's going to try to take it from him. He can FLATTEN you between his hands like a piece of roti canai. FLATTEN. I can't FLATTEN people like him, but I've been told I can get an intense homicidal aura going. That's good enough, right? This time, I even got to hold on to the money until halfway through the wedding. Woot.

Congratulations to King Tut & Leaping

Has it really been ten years? Bugger. I remember that Bon Odori when we were Lower 6 back in 1996. It was raining, Leaping's friends decided not to go and gave her vouchers worth RM100. So King Tut, her and I, who were on Scouts duty, had RM100 to spend. And I kept on bugging her for vouchers to buy Magnum ice cream. Dang. Should have gotten the Gormenghast T-shirt (RM20, but RM100 is a lot to eat).

And then there was the Inauguration Dinner back in 1997, when they both DANCED THE NIGHT AWAY. I mean, they were REALLY dancing the whole night. Right up until they were the only couple left on the dance floor. Like, wtf? The whole night! I can only imagine them having hot hot sex right now. With their stamina, they'll be at it the whole bloody night. But then again, I think they're very tired. They'll probably just go sleep and shag the whole of next day. WHAT STAMINA.

Anyway, I'm happy for them. Most relationships cannot last 5 years without marriage. They lasted 10. Do you know what kind of staying power you need for that? A WHOLE LOT. Now that's commitment you don't find nowadays. Which only ELEVATES my inner joy that they finally got married (because, as we know, I'm such a jaded bastard).

10 long years. And they finally got married. Wow. All I can say is, wow. All the best to them.

Note: FYI they got married on the 30th of September. Just, FYI. Since it's like 1.15am and I'm bloody drunk on account of the beers I had with Von Darke after the wedding.