Prosian Thoughts

Kidz

2011-07-20T19:56:00.003+08:00

Okay. Kid++. Male. I adore the little thing, probably more than I let on. There's something about seeing something you made crawl around the place and try to climb up the couch. Thing is, I'm the kind of guy who's just waiting for him to grow up so that I can start playing with him. Cowboys and Indians. Aliens. Sea-Mon. Call of Duty. World of Warcraft ("You tank and Daddy will DPS behind the boss"). Time for that later, I guess. Right now, it's all about making sure he doesn't hurt himself too much and that his milk is ready when he's hungry. These activities are more difficult than they sound. Kid's starting to move fast. And his appetite can be a mite unpredictable.

On the workfront, things aren't going to well. Have they ever been? It's the same story day in, day out. Just that I now have the additional challenge of keeping myself motivated enough to do work. It's a tiring task which I suspect is leading me to be this jaded old guy in the department. Sullen. Grumpy. Makes strange statements ("So tell me frankly... what do you think about sex with female gorillas?"). Sometimes, I think they're only keeping me around because there's a lack of resources around here.

I might have finally found a way to stop gaming. Call of Duty: Black Ops. I suck so much at it, two rounds and I call it quits for the night. Is it my 250+ms ping? Is it my slower reflexes after years of not playing FPSes? I don't know. All I know is that I suck at it, and it's actually given me more time to go do other stuff. Like continue working from home.

Haunted

2008-10-01T10:12:00.000+08:00

The rain brings floods, stalled cars and among other things, strange dreams. Submerged beneath waves of sleep, the past clawed out, grasped, pulled me under.

And then I was back in the old house of an old friend, an apartment in the sky. Going in, I realized that she was going to move out the next day. The place was dark - it was late evening, and no one had turned on the lights. The television and the couch was gone, presumably sent off to her new house. Where the television used to be were some mattresses - ah, her family was over, probably to see her off. The balcony was empty, cleared of the hanging apparatus she used to hang her clothes out to dry. I looked out - instead of the swimming pool and the other blocks of apartment, it was the edge of the sea. There were marshes where the sea met the land - I could clearly see a man walking in it. I walked to the kitchen - which now looked different. The old place was now mixed with the structure of my house, although at that point, all I could do was note that the built-in furniture was still there, and that there was some weird hanger hanging off the ceiling.

Dawn snatched me back from the depths of sleep before I could visit the three bedrooms and the toilet. As I lay awake, the structure of apartment came back to me. Sometimes, I think my affinity for locations (as opposed to people) can lead to really strange dreams. Dreams where the house itself haunts me.

First Day at Work Again

2008-09-29T23:58:00.001+08:00

Today marks the first surreal day of work in my previous company (the one I've been in the last 4+ years, the one I was in before I left for my two month stint elsewhere). They couldn't give me back my old ID, so there's this general bad feeling all around that I could end up having to take *all* the training courses again. Yes, even the absolutely mindbogglingly boring ones. Yes, even the ones where I need to travel to a building far far away and sit in a room and listen to someone who really shouldn't be teaching conduct classes. New ID, bye bye seniority. The kid whom I used to pwn... can now pwn me with his years of service (right now I only have day of service).

So the first thing to do was to go make my access card. Everyone knows that without access cards, going to the toilet will be at the mercy of whoever's willing to lend you his / her access card. There are few - everyone's afraid of you dropping their card into the urinal or worse, the toilet bowl just after you're done with your business in the old shithouse. This fact landed me at security at slightly past 8am. The lady there was all mumbling and half-asleep (high?). She couldn't speak English, and half the time I didn't know what her strange Malay dialect meant. It was all very confusing. I ended up leaving after she directed me to some HR lady. At 8 something in the morning, "call so-and-so at HR" is just another diversion.

It turned out later that the nice HR lady handling my return had gone through all the trouble to retrieve my access cards (the new one and the extremely old one which had chipped off) from the company's artifact vault in the US. It had been enshrined in some reliquary after I left, but since I was back, she justified that I and only I had the actual right to those artifacts. And thus, they were flown all the way back to Malaysia, and delivered to me later in the day. I must admit that I'm glad to get those cards back. The idea that anything I've used is being kept under lock and key beside other artifacts of great power is strangely disturbing.

My old cubicle is lost, of course. Horrible timing in my two-month company meant I reached back a whole month late. So they gave me a new cubicle (or quarter-cubicle, as cubicles are known in this company). It was filthy. Dust covered the surface of everything like it was trendy to be dusty. There were stickers pasted all over the place. Stickers, from a time when some shortsighted freak somewhere in the company thought that giving people company stickers would boost their morale. Fool, you give people money to boost morale! Money, sex and power! Even I know that.

Anyway, I sought out the cool-looking janitor who looks like Johnny Depp in "From Hell". He was nice enough to rummage through a huge sack of cleaning cloths to locate the lemon-flavoured cleaning fluids. And that was how I spent the morning, scrubbing away at everything diligently and removing the stickers with a vengeance. In a fit of red anger, I also decided to throw away everything in the cupboards and the drawers. I even donated some of the more valuable-looking stuff to other people. So sue me. I left, they gave away my cubicle. Whoever who left my new cubicle, I'm giving / throwing away your stuff too. I did contemplate bribing / threatening to murder the family of the new guy in my cubicle. But after seeing how that area has gelled together, I decided against it. If I moved him out now, they'll see me as the interloper (especially with my n00b ID and my day of service record). I'll probably stay in my recently-cleaned cubicle in the meantime. At least I'll have a Very Good View of any pretty girl who's visiting the office secretary.

My job scope's already been defined. I'm sure my face turned green when I got the manager I would be working with briefed me about it. I'm sure it stayed green throughout the day, especially when the manager of managers came to brief me about it again. And my new manager dropped by with his complimentary frown. It's all very nice, but once again, I see impending doom on the horizon.

My colleagues were all very nice, warm, welcoming. Although I sensed that they were all a little muted. Downtoned. Granted, it's probably because most of them had already buggered back to their hometown for the Raya holidays. The office's usually quiet when only a few are around. Or it could be because of the rain. The extremely heavy rain. You know, for two months in my previous company, there was no rain interference at all when I went to and fro the carpark. Yes, it would rain in the afternoon, but not when I wanted to go to or come from my car. Today, however, it poured. What kind of sign is that!?

Hooking up with the colleagues I'm close to was more fun. I had souvenirs from them - something shiny - which I don't think the wife approves of. But they're good people, and I really wanted to get them stuff. Which I did. Only that some of them didn't bother showing up for work - I guess those will have to wait. But, after the horror that was cleaning up my cubicle, I settled down, started installing stuff, started talking to people again.

...and I realized just how normal it felt. How like I've never left. I go to the toilet for the familiar feeling of peeing and warming myself up. When I walk along the corridor I watch the floor diligently for water so that I don't slip. And there's a total dearth of hot chicks. At the same time, I feel like I could wake up any moment and find out I'm still in the previous company. No, I don't really miss my ex-colleagues save one fellow who turned out to be a really standup chap. But I do miss the endorphin-inducing pretty girls. Damn it.

So there we are with my first day of work. Is this all a dream? Is this a mistake I shouldn't have made? Is this what's meant to be? Horror of horrors, time will tell.

Turn

2008-09-28T21:11:00.002+08:00

Wait for your turn. That's the typical civilized way of doing stuff. Get in line. Queue up. This is, of course, something which Malaysians can never seem to do. Instead, they tend to live just to cut queue. It's all very rude. Ill-mannered. Savage. One of the reasons why I've always felt that we as a nation has so much further to go.

Why can't we be more like the seasons, waiting for their turn patiently? Spring waits for winter, winter waits for autumn, autumn waits for summer, summer waits for spring. Nature itself shows us that for everything there is a time and place. Like the leaves which grow in the spring, to flourish in the summer and ultimately to fall in the autumn. Life itself is a series of stages waiting to play out in their own time - childhood, adolescence, adulthood, old age, a rotting corpse which the worms eat. Even the worms know when their turn is to come out of the body for the final cleanup.

This tendency to go out of turn is unnatural. It is a betrayal of the natural order of life. It is a lie which we who do not follow the order of things help perpetuate. For it is easier to do that which is wrong than it is to do that which is right. Are you cutting my line? The resentment build ups within me. If you can do it, why shouldn't I? Next time, it will be my turn to cut someone else's line. And that someone will feel the same resentment I did when you cut my line. This fundamental element of life gets twisted. The chain grows longer. Order breaks. It is neverending.

So do your part. Queue up. Get in line. After all, it's the civilized way of doing stuff. Wait for your turn.

Second Wind

2008-09-27T02:09:00.003+08:00

The last few days have seen me getting worn out very fast. I come home from work, I fall asleep on the bed (after my bath, of course). I go for dinner, come home, and I feel utterly bonked. By 11.30pm, I'm crawling towards my bed. Crawling. No watching of horror movies. No genocide for traits in LOTRO (Lord of the Rings Online). No working towards my canonization as the Saint of Pr0n :S. I'm just bonked! BONKED, I TELL YOU!

I come home! And I die on the bed! I don't even wear a shirt! What on Earth is going on with me? Used to be: come home, bathe, party the night away. Now sometimes, I can hardly find enough energy to drive out and fetch my wife back.

Anyway, that's how my week has been. I wonder if the weather has changed. I'm pretty sensitive to weather changes. Usually I simply fall sick. Weather hot -> weather cold = sick. Weather cold -> weather hot = sick. It's how I welcome the weather. On a subconscious level, it also shows my dislike of change. It's also because I'm a walking human barometer.

Today, though, after falling asleep numerous times, I've finally come to a state where I'm wide awake. At 2am. YAY.

Sidenote: How I Spent the Evening of My Last Day of Work at the New Company

Ate alone in Subway (wife went for birthday dinner) - delicious Subway Melt!
LOTRO: Killed enough wolves in the Trollshaws to get the trait there
Fickle-fackled around about rebooting this blog - decided AGAINST
Tried to get people to talk to me over Facebook - marginal success

The End, The Beginning

2008-09-27T01:40:00.005+08:00

So. Here's the sitch:

I'm married! Woohoo!
I changed jobs for 2 whole months before going back to my earlier job
This blog survived yet another desire to mothball and reboot it

It is true in life that what you want may not be what you need.

Memo 1: Do not post stuff when one is feeling drunk without having consumed any alcohol.
Memo 2: Perhaps one might want to see a doctor about Memo 1?

Action required: Need to work on the reason why I went back after 2 months.

Nothing At All

2008-07-01T21:43:00.006+08:00

It was a time long ago in a place far south when I still had more friends than I could count on one hand. We were standing outside the cineplex when it hit me. There she was, her face plastered on every poster on every wall. And, trick of light perhaps, or fanciful imagination, I saw her instead. And realized, then, that she said it best when she said

I stood outside the house, with my family inside with the family they had chosen to surround themselves with. He lay in the coffin, a cooling corpse long deserted by its soul, still garnering attention from mourners around. The stars were out in force, and as I watched them, I got the creepy realization that ultimately, life was for

Night. They sat together in the garden, two lost souls finding a brief respite in the storm of life. A moment of quiet after the chaos. She was grateful. He had found himself. His epiphany: what mattered was what he did if what he did meant

No More Lisa

2008-04-28T20:40:00.002+08:00

Call of the Eye

2007-09-01T15:16:00.000+08:00

Right in the middle of the madness which is my life now, Guild Wars: Eye of the North (aka GWEN) was released. I played the preview last week and was rather pleased with how it was. When I started playing again yesterday (4 hours after the actual release time of 3pm because I was out looking for my new sofa), I realized that all os us previewers had played about one quarter of the main storyline.

But that's okay. Realize that ArenaNet decided to make the primary storyline short, but the 18 multilevel dungeons is where the real action of GWEN is. The primary quests have taken me to 3-level dungeons - SMALL 3-level dungeons - and I'm liking what I've seen. Of course, eradicating the inhabitants of a 5 level dungeon complex is a time-consuming endeavour. I expect myself only to start on this after I've finished up all the primary quests with all my ten characters. Or when the night is early and the lag is none.

So why am I blogging now instead of finishing up the GWEN primary quests with my primary ranger character (Ilfar!)? I've borrowed a maid and she's cleaning my new house for me. Yes, that sounds a bit lame, but there's a pretty deep cut on my finger now which prevents me from getting my hands dirty. Okay, that sounds lame too, but really, I don't even know if my cut is ever going to recover. It's pretty deep.

As such, it's a good thing I got Streamyx running in my new house. You guys should drop by sometime. When the wind comes, I can actually work at my table without turning on the air conditioner.

Icy Cold Tap Water

2007-06-20T02:05:00.001+08:00

Cold water in the extremely early morning. The tap water brought back now-fond memories of my scouting days. I look at my Jabba the Hutt bulk today, and I find it inconceivable that once upon a time - ONCE UPON A TIME! - I was this lean mean hole-digging machine. The folks at St. Michael's Ipoh couldn't break my fence. Yes sir, it was a labour of love, a feat which will probably never be repeated again.

It's been a long day. It's been a long DEMOTIVATING day. Yet somehow, right now, the only thing I can think of (apart from the fact that I just sent a bunch of trannie videos to an Iranian colleague) is how cold the tap water is. If I close my eyes, I can almost imagine myself back at Camp Coronation, with the smell of sulphur in the air.

I do not think how life can be horrendously unfair. I do not think how working life can take a serious downturn because of just TWO people. I do not think how I should be uberly pissed that my efforts usually go uncredited. I do not think how I'm constantly sidelined even though my managers do not find anything SERIOUSLY wrong with me during my one-on-ones with them.

Instead, I think of icy cold tap water. I think of my scouting days. I think of Camp Coronation. I think of the smell of sulphur in the air. I think of camaraderie. I think of being good at what I do, and being recognized for it by a bunch of peers who do not know the meaning of recognition. For one cold icy glorious moment, I'm back in the past, patrolling the hallways of my memory armed with only a parang and a face recently cleansed by icy cold tap water with a faint taste of rust.

I think of all that, and somehow, life seems liveable.

The Midnight Hour

2007-05-24T23:22:00.000+08:00

You know how there are some movies you watched when you were a little kid which left a great impact on you? No? Well, I do. A long time ago, back when I was still in primary school, I used to go for sunset mass every Saturday evening with my extended family. I had cathecism classes the next morning, so I used to sleep over at my aunty's house (where my grandmother also lived). Now, in those days, RTM1 showed great movies every Saturday night. I used to watch them along with my aunty, uncle and two cousins on their black and white television. They had dinosaur movies, monster movies and my personal favourites, horror movies. The one which has stayed with me over all these years is The Midnight Hour.

I watched it once back in the 80s. The plot's pretty simple... curse gets unleashed, the dead rise, guy and girl fall in love with each other, curse overruns town, curse is reversed, ending I absolutely love. Absolutely. I finally got to watch it again today after around 20 years and I still love this movie. There's nothing like a fresh healthy dose of nostalgia to make one feel all young again.

It's also slightly disturbing that after all this time, I just realized just how much this movie has affected me.

* The movie features a lot of undead. Zombies, werewolves, vampires, witches are the order of the day.
Horror is my favourite genre. I once wrote a story about all manner of monsters, and the plot was taken right out of this movie.

The following points are all related. They all begin with "The hot chick the nerdy protagonist hooks up with..."

"... teaches him how to live."
I follow pretty well. Especially female leaders (favourite Star Trek captain is Captain Janeway).

"... happens to be undead."
Necrophilia FTW!

"... is a hot blonde cheerleader."
Oh yes, I have blonde cheerleader fetish. It's stronger than my necrophilia tendencies.

"... has been the only hot chick in a movie which has stuck in my mind. Ever."
She's even crept up in stuff I've done every now and then. Usually subconsciously. God I'm more traumatized than I thought.

I probably had the greatest schoolboy crush on her when I was young. Probably overidentified with the protagonist (isn't all that hard for me at that time), got all excited with the monsters and the ending? Poignant. Burns itself into your heart. Something like this don't just go away.

It's really nice how nearly 10 years after this movie, along came Buffy. Pretty blonde girl with a lot of monsters hanging around about her. I never fell hard for Buffy - one impossible blonde is enough, thank you - but I guess, in spirit, they had a lot in common. Except Buffy literally kicked ass, didn't come from the 1950s, is wittier, has deadly fashion sense and serves a mean stake. Er...

So that's it. I finally caught up with The Midnight Hour. I thought it would seem diminished, for time has a way of making you remember things better than they actually are. But no. It's as good as I thought it would be.

*deep sigh*

Sinks back to the good old days with 50s songs playing on the radio...

Loving' the New Ads

2007-05-07T18:59:00.000+08:00

I went out for dinner with the Simoniac and Von Darke on Sunday. "Nikolai," he said as we dug into our second-rate shellfish, "go look in the papers today. Tell me if you see anything out of the place."

Right after that, he proceeded to tell us what was wrong, but to save time, I did a little scan of the item in question and hey, here's what Von Darke told us to go see:

So the guy on the left... the one being hugged. It's obviously his first time. I mean, that expression of pain. The clenched eyes. The mouth opened in some cry of pain. Like, wow. I'll be hollering out loud too if I had a hot man-sausage shoved up my ass.

The other guy, the one on the right. Now that's a look of BLISS. He's obviously enjoying this connection with his little friend in front of him. Look at that mouth. You can almost hear his moan of pleasure.

Or so I thought upon first looking at it. And then I read the rest of the ad:

This can't be accidental, right? Right? Von Darke thinks that whoever who designed the ad should be shot. "It's supposed to be serious!" he insists. And yes, it is. But when people are dense enough to miss this kind of innuendo and actually go ahead with printing it out on a national newspaper, they will be mocked.

For similar fun, go here.

Bomb on the Bridge Rumour Causes HELLISH Jam

2007-04-04T19:52:00.000+08:00

The Rumour
There is a BOMB on Penang Bridge. Alternatively, some disgruntled employee of my company heard of his/her (lack of bonus) and blew up the damn bridge*.

The Assumption based on the UNHOLY Traffic Jam I just went through
They fucking closed the bridge.

The Fact
UNHOLY traffic jam. UNHOLY. It took me a whole lot of luck and impatience to make my way home in one hour and maybe fifteen minutes. If I had patience, I would still be out there now. In fact, If I had patience, I probably would have run out of patience and roadraged some nearby fellow travellers to death. Pity the people who live on the mainland. Everyone of them has to use the ferry home if they want go home.

Remotely Scary Moment
When I checked the bridgecam and got 'x' on ALL the videos. I've never managed to get that before.

Wtf?
Like, who the hell would bomb Penang Bridge? That's like... LAME. Who would bomb MALAYSIA to begin with? We're not even worth bombing. Complete waste of explosives. Left to our own devices I think we'll self-destruct even faster. But noooo... someone had to go blow it up. Or attempt to blow it up. Or maybe started a bloody hoax about Bomb on the Bridge. Like, TOO FREE IS IT? Whoever it was, I hope he / she / it / they go EAT SHIT AND DIE DIE DIE.

*: This might not be as improbable as it sounds. Our 'bonus' this year is so bad it's a wonder the company didn't deduct money from our salary instead. Factor in the current working conditions and for the grace of God that disgruntled employee could have been me. But of course I won't. Cause evidently, closing down the bridge only diverts traffic to my area of town, WHICH GREATLY PISSES ME OFF.

Walking in Memphis

2007-03-26T21:57:00.001+08:00

The piano intro of 'Walking in Memphis' always sends shivers down my spine. I don't know why, it just does. At the same time, it sends my mind off to some far away place. Memphis, probably. It also makes me feel very young again, evoking memories of listening to the song while my father was driving the car or when I was in my room, listening to the radio while I studied. Marc Cohn's version is the definitive one in my books, but Cher's rendition is... let's just say that the X-Files episode 'Post-Modern Prometheus' made it highly memorable. In that 'forever engraved in my mind' kind of way.

In fact, it was that same episode which set me off to get Cher songs. Mind you, I was already a fan of Cher after 'Mermaids'. 'The Shoop Shoop Song' kicked off the 90s, a time when Christina Ricci was adorable and Winona Ryder oh-so-desirable after Beetlejuice and Edward Scissorhands. I get weird flashes of 'Back to the Future' whenever I hear the Shoop Shoop Song (which is strange). But. 'Post Modern Prometheus'. It came at a time when I was more able to source out stuff (this was like... around the end of last year / beginning of this year). And source I did, and found out that I really like quite a number of Cher songs. Like, REALLY. 'Heart of Stone' and 'Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves' rank high on my list, but highest goes to 'Just Like Jessie James'. Ah, what must it feel like to belt out lines like "Cause if this heart is gonna break it's gonna take a lot to break it" on stage performing to a full house in Vegas? Almost makes me want to put on a wig and sing on stage.

Cher. She's got an incredible voice. She's the hottest 'matured' woman I know EVER. In fact, she could have started off the whole 'matured woman' category of porn. Her songs are great. Like total wow. Experiencing her in X-Files was a truly great experience. The fusion of X-files and Cher resulted in one of my favourite X-Files episode. Someone created a music video of 'Walking in Memphis' and 'Post-Modern Prometheus'. If you don't mind major spoilers of the episode (or if you've already watched it), do take a look at the video below. Truly one of television's highest points.

International Women's Day

2007-03-09T00:31:00.000+08:00

Was yesterday. I wish to be dedicating this day (belatedly) to my late grandmother. She put the Fear Of God into me. I might not be a good Christian, but there is that Overwhelming Conscience in me which prevents me from doing shit like cheating on my girlfriend/wife. It's in my genes to sow my wild oats, but due to my upbringing due to my grandmother, that is no longer the case. I attribute my decidedly strange principles to her. She's been dead for so long, but I can still remember how she looks like. Sarong and old-fashioned hair-do and all. Late grandmother FTW.

Dead?

2007-03-06T12:11:00.000+08:00

No. Just going through a funk. I hope this phase of extreme downtime is temporary. I would hate having to go through life like this. Working hours are now a horrible blur - not because I'm too busy, but because I'm seriously demotivated. That's what happens when you've come to believe that your own manager is out to kill you (or at least force you to resign). Last year around this time, I was insanely busy, but at least there was that grim satisfaction with my work. Now, I'll be happy if I can even gather enough will to push through my current workload. C'est true... people do end up leaving companies because of their managers.

State of the Month October 2006

2006-10-15T16:02:00.000+08:00

So here we are in the middle of the month. I wanna recap a couple of stuff which I've been wanting to blog about but never had the time until now.

The Wedding of Keantucky & Siput
Keantucky's this guy I've known since Standard 5. In fact, Standard 5 was the year he joined my primary school. That year, we became friends because we were both in the band together. Fast forward to being in the same class, joining the disciplinary boards, keeping in contact during the uni years (relatively, for I'm introverted) and then getting into the same company for our first job. Then he went off to KL to work, and now look, he finally married his university sweetheart Siput (who, fyi, is pretty hot - we cannot deny his good choice of mate).

For his wedding, Von Darke and I made a night trip to KL on Friday night after a lot of debate regarding the Penang Bridge jam. The WeiYi put us up in her house, where we whiled away the time watching Travel & Living and sipping whisky in the late hours of the day. Sunday night was the night of the wedding. It was a hazy day, but then, KL was hazy all the time we were there. We went off to Tropicana for first the wedding service (where I realized that the bible could get very sexist sometimes), and then the wedding dinner. It was nice to see my old friends again. Reminds me of the time back in school when I had more friends.

The New Team
Starting from this coming week, I'll be starting in a new project. Away from my old team. In fact, from what I've heard, I'll be working pretty much alone. Not that I mind, except that the nature of my new work seems to indicate that I'll just be cleaning up stuff and documenting the work of the senior engineer before me. It's just office boy work. And the senior engineer's going to get all the credit, so I'm going to end up doing essentially nothing for the next few months. I feel like MPPP. Or maybe a sacrificial lamb for someone else's convenience. But ah. What can I do? I'm being paid for this.

A New Laptop
My father's new laptop, wholly sponsored by me. That's a big dent in my bank account, largely because the purchase wasn't planned. It's a spiffy machine, endorsed by Von Darke himself. It'll arrive sometime this coming Monday. But, what a hole in the wallet. Right now, I've about RM100 to last until my salary is banked in again at the end of the month. Back to the days of university life, when RM100 could be stretched out to last one whole month. I'll need to lie low for awhile. Eat less. Eat cheap. Invest in a few packets of Maggi Mee.

Mantra of Serenity

2006-10-12T12:07:00.000+08:00

In order to avoid a genocide on noisy people in my workplace, I repeat the following mantra:

My colleagues are retarded.
My colleagues are retarded.
My colleagues are retarded.
My colleagues are retarded.
My colleagues are retarded.
My colleagues are retarded.
My colleagues are retarded.
My colleagues are retarded.

Over and over again. The one sitting on the other side of the cube from me is the most retarded of all. Maybe he was dropped on his head when he was young. Maybe after he was orphaned, he had to make a lot of noise by himself to fend away the loneliness you would feel when your parents pass away when you're twelve. I don't know what his story is, but right now, the theory that he's noisy because of some severe mental retardation or trauma is the only thing keeping me from bludgeoning him to death with my brand new laptop.

I was actually contemplating on attending the teambuilding event this year. What the hell, right? Let's go out and make friends. After my office turned into a Beijing market this morning, they'll have to drag me to ANY event with them in chains, with me screaming bloody murder.

I'm sorry. I've actually been in rather high spirits ever since I came back from the KL wedding (which I *will* write about soon). Helped my mother with her PC hibernation issue. Bought a laptop for my dad (and I'll probably just starve for the rest of the month or something so he doesn't need to pay me back). But I just received news about my new assignment, and it's so not what I want to be doing for the next year or so. Add A WHOLE LOT OF NOISE IN THE OFFICE to that and my frame of mind just goes to hell. Everything I see is red now.

Mind Shift

2006-10-03T13:09:00.000+08:00

There's this guy at work I would really love to kill. I want to bash his head in with one of the heavy walkie-talkies lying around. I want to wait in the carpark after work for him to make an appearance before ramming him down with my car. I want to kidnap him and torture him for the rest of my life. He really gets on my nerves with his constant noise. He sings (badly). He laughs loudly. He makes noises he thinks will amuse other people.

Today of all days, I feel at peace with his noise. Something in my mind shifted, and now I think he's just slightly retarded. I mean, I don't think he is. At least, the nice part of me doesn't. The dark blob of hateful darkness inside me INSISTS he's so retarded that he spends his free time staring into open space while drooling. The middle road Buddha in me calmly states that is merely him.

So I'm at peace. I might even nod encouragingly at him the next time he decides to shout at the OTHER retarded asshole on the other side of the office. I need to shift my mind even more to accommodate the rest of the people working here. Slowly. These things take time. This is a strange world indeed if I have to believe the worst of everyone in order for me to get along with them.

At the Reception

2006-10-01T23:58:00.001+08:00

So right. Yesterday was King Tut and Leaping's wedding. Von Darke and I actually arrived early, and he got drafted into becoming the photographer (cause the hired hand was late) while I got drafted into becoming the RECEPTIONIST. You know, the pretty girl who sits at a table and ticks off your name and gives you your table number? Yup, that was me. Except I ain't pretty and I've a perfectly functioning pair of balls and one nice long meat sausage dangling between my legs.

But hey. That was yesterday. Today is my girlfriend's godbrother's wedding dinner. She was the bridesmaid, so she was running up and down everywhere the whole of yesterday and today. We had a nice drive to Tanjung Country Club, and then somehow I ended up sitting behind the reception desk again. Overseeing the angpows again. It's an honour, yes, but I don't know why people keep trusting me with their money. Maybe I have that mafia hitman look. I know my cousin has the bouncer aura about him. You put money in front of him, no one's going to try to take it from him. He can FLATTEN you between his hands like a piece of roti canai. FLATTEN. I can't FLATTEN people like him, but I've been told I can get an intense homicidal aura going. That's good enough, right? This time, I even got to hold on to the money until halfway through the wedding. Woot.

Congratulations to King Tut & Leaping

2006-10-01T01:15:00.000+08:00

Has it really been ten years? Bugger. I remember that Bon Odori when we were Lower 6 back in 1996. It was raining, Leaping's friends decided not to go and gave her vouchers worth RM100. So King Tut, her and I, who were on Scouts duty, had RM100 to spend. And I kept on bugging her for vouchers to buy Magnum ice cream. Dang. Should have gotten the Gormenghast T-shirt (RM20, but RM100 is a lot to eat).

And then there was the Inauguration Dinner back in 1997, when they both DANCED THE NIGHT AWAY. I mean, they were REALLY dancing the whole night. Right up until they were the only couple left on the dance floor. Like, wtf? The whole night! I can only imagine them having hot hot sex right now. With their stamina, they'll be at it the whole bloody night. But then again, I think they're very tired. They'll probably just go sleep and shag the whole of next day. WHAT STAMINA.

Anyway, I'm happy for them. Most relationships cannot last 5 years without marriage. They lasted 10. Do you know what kind of staying power you need for that? A WHOLE LOT. Now that's commitment you don't find nowadays. Which only ELEVATES my inner joy that they finally got married (because, as we know, I'm such a jaded bastard).

10 long years. And they finally got married. Wow. All I can say is, wow. All the best to them.

Note: FYI they got married on the 30th of September. Just, FYI. Since it's like 1.15am and I'm bloody drunk on account of the beers I had with Von Darke after the wedding.

Dying Battery

2006-09-21T23:28:00.000+08:00

There's something about me and technology. My computer dies on a regular basis. The radio I work on die easily. And my car battery... haih. My car battery. Tonight, it wasn't dead. No. It was dying. There were lights, there was radio. But start the car? Nah. Sorry. No can do. Good thing Von Darke was almost home (but not quite home yet). He went back to the carpark and while my girlfriend held the torchlight (borrowed from the guard), we jumpstarted my car with his nifty jumper cables.

And that's cool. Gracias to all. BUT. We found out my car battery was faulty. It was leaking white stuff (which ain't sperm). My father didn't believe me though. Once again, it was all about me not filling the battery water. Which is true. Although the battery still had oodles and oodles of water. The cocksucker was LEAKING okay. You know how pissed I am or not?! *throws something on the floor for dramatic effect*

And now Guild Wars downloading at 3KB/sec! Wtf! Slow connection ftl!

Community Service Messages

2006-09-20T23:54:00.000+08:00

On the radio, they can get preachy. Annoyingly so. Picture this: It's been a hard day at work. Your boss is pissed at you, you're feeling down, there's misery in the air. So on the way home, you turn on the radio hoping to hear Hilary Duff singing 'Wake Up' or maybe that 'Dejavu' song. I mean come on, even that 'Bad Day' song would be welcomed (it would be most apt indeed). The last thing you want to hear is some irritating voice telling you not to drive too fast.

BUT.

THAT is exactly what you hear. And it doesn't even get to the point at once. It does that long-winded "3 words that can change your life blablabla" then some schmucks come in and chime "I love you" and "God bless you" and "That's the loo" and then they go on with the accident stuff and suddenly we have negative thoughts like "Oh my God" and "Damn I'm screwed" and "Not my fault". Do people really want to listen to this on the way home from work while stuck in a traffic jam? It's a wonder road rage incidents haven't spiked. I just hate that holier-than-thou tone the voice takes. Hate. HATE. Makes me want to step down on the accelerator and hit something. Like maybe the old lady standing on the side of the road or something. Or whoever they hired to annoy listeners.

In the US, radio stations were full of ads in the morning, and they played mostly songs in the evening. In Malaysia, DJs yak ALL DAY over the air. Goddamnit, would it kill to just play songs? It's the radio! Play songs!

The End, The Beginning

2006-09-19T20:32:00.000+08:00

That's the end of my Frank Flynn days. It was a bitch putting everything back together again. I figure that everyone now thinks I'm dead and gone forever, so it's probably safe to crawl out of the woodwork again to bask in obscurity.

Amazing how it's always the worst of days which spur me into action. To recap, I went under as Armasazi (I'm not there anymore, but someone else could be). Too many people who shoulnd't know about this knew about this. Enough time has gone by that no one remembers me anymore. So I can go about the job of getting to know everybody again. Apparently, a clean start isn't what I wanted. I wanted to revise everybody's opinion of me so that they would think of me as some nice guy instead of that despicable asshole. Fat chance of that happening. I know Tony Stark once used a device to make everyone forget he was Iron-Man, but I think that got destroyed somehow. And the Avengers, especially Captain America, wasn't happy with him either.

Where am I now anyway? Like, what is the state of the union? What is the status quo? The answer, simply, is not very good. The past couple of months have seen a severe deterioration of drive. Work has sucked me lifeless - all I do is go home and play Guild Wars. Heck, I wasn't even playing Guild Wars properly. Bought Prophecies a couple of months after it launched. Then I stopped playing. Then I heard that Factions was coming out, so I restarted a new character. Played a bit too, and then stopped again. And then I heard Nightfall was coming out. So I played the second character earnestly, and before I knew it, I had already completed both campaigns with Ilfar Danan. These nights, I go home and play with my spankingly brilliant mesmer called Siew Mei. Someday I might even post pics of Her Royal Dominatrixness.

That's on the PC gaming front. My PS2 is firmly entrenched in the hall now, for use of my father. He seems to like the bout games very much. Boxing, Mortal Kombat... I tried to get him to play Bloodrayne, but I think he didn't really get the 3rd person action adventure genre. Just saying it's goodbye to my PS2 gaming days (not that Guild Wars leaves me a lot of time for anything else).

Work? Don't talk to me about work. I would actually resign and get a new job, but damnit, I'm too lazy to do anything but fix easy bugs. There is no drive. The drive is gone. I don't know where the hell it went to. Worse, the drive is gone from EVERYWHERE. The only drive left is to do stuff in Guild Wars, and that's only because of the game mechanics which appeal to my obsessive-compulsive side (gotta cap 'em all!).

Healthwise, I'm getting fat (so, what else is new?). My stomach was bloated this morning. Worrying, really. Maybe I should stop eating for awhile to see what happens. Doesn't help that I have about a million weddings to attend in the coming weekends. I feel HORRIBLE about missing Siew Mei's (the friend, not my GW persona) wedding, but the coming ones... uh... well, maybe I will feel bad about missing them. I mean, old friends I haven't seen in aeons, yeah. Family I haven't seen in aeons, yeah. Damnit, I'm getting soft in my old age.

Anyway, end of recap. Will I blog more these days now that Prosian Thoughts is back in business? Don't know. Don't really care. No one knows I'm here anymore anyway. Well, Von Darke will be informed. And a couple of other people. Maybe this will be a footnote for my blog. "In the end, he came home and died." Something sweet like that.

Let it Slide

2006-09-19T10:29:00.000+08:00

In a broader talk rejecting any religious motivation for violence, Benedict cited the words of a 14th-century Byzantine emperor who characterized some teachings of Muhammad as "evil and inhuman," particularly "his command to spread by the sword the faith."

And this is what Popey said:

Show me just what Muhammad brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached.

So okay, that's being taken way out of context (cause apparently the Pope didn't agree with that - he was just using it as an example), but then, those schmucks went to do this:

"We tell the worshipper of the cross (the Pope) that you and the West will be defeated, as is the case in Iraq, Afghanistan, Chechnya," said a Web statement by the Mujahideen Shura Council, an umbrella group led by Iraq's branch of al Qaeda.

"We shall break the cross and spill the wine," said the statement, posted on Sunday on an Internet site often used by al Qaeda and other militant groups.

Over-reaction, much? And of course, there was the Italian nun killing which could be related. That's right, you idiots. Go ahead and prove Ratzinger right. Holy war's the answer to EVERYTHING these days, isn't it? Haihhh. It's getting old. The Pope's getting old. He might have made a mistake. His words could have been taken out of context. Or, he could just be goading you extremist "I solve everything with a bomb" militants to solve this issue with a bomb. Let it slide. He's already issued an apology. Don't prove him right by picking up that sword. Just go bitch about it on your blog or something.

Sometimes, I think religion causes more problems than it solves.

Of Dolphins & Leeches

2006-09-13T16:48:00.000+08:00

Yes they do. If you're a dolphin, you could be peacefully swimming in the nice blue sea when suddenly, this big gang of dolphins start humping you. Ditto if you're a duck. Or a goose. It's savage, but that's nature. You're a duck, happily waddling in a pond, and then suddenly this huge-assed black duck pounces on you and starts shoving its dirty yellow beak up your ass. Now how would that feel? Or maybe you get gangraped in the sky by a flock of other ducks while flying south for winter. Everyone thinks humans getting raped is bad, but no one is there to bring nature's rapists to justice. Goddamn non-consensual monsters.

Why am I researching dolphin rape? Cause I'm stuck fixing a dead-end bug which has been tearing my soul apart for the past couple of weeks. It's not easy, it's not fun, it's frustrating. It's more elusive than Carmen Sandiego in the final mission of "Where in Time is Carmen Sandiego?". I've been feeling so horrible. So so horrible. Do not walk by my cubicle. You might just get mauled to bloody ribbons of red flesh.

In other news, my cubemate reported that his mother's friend's friend died because she had leeches living in her stomach. Yes, leeches, those damn little bloodsuckers. They live in leafy green vegetables (or so the story goes), and if they're not dead when you eat them, they'll start interior decorating your intestines and stomach and live there. Then they'll have sex with each other or breed asexually, and they'll lay their little eggs in all those niches in your intestines. Those small, roundish, yellow eggs. And then the eggs will hatch, and little baby leeches will slither out, and then they'll have leech sex and before you know it, there are thousands of leeches living inside your stomach. Apparently, at this point, your stomach will get bloated. And there will be nothing you can do but die. An operation to remove the leeches will be futile on account of their sharp leechy teeth which bite into the walls of your stomach. Is this true? Is this false? I don't know. My cubemate just said so.

Slowing Down on Guild Wars

2006-09-04T13:24:00.000+08:00

I've been working hard on Guild Wars. Really hard. So hard that when I sleep, I dream I'm playing the game. It happened last night. Due to the late nights spent playing Guild Wars, I quaffed two shots of Vasparov (if only to conserve my spankingly brand new Dewars) and went to bed at 2am. This after finishing a couple of Conan (the Cimmerian, not the detective) stories. Winked out, and then I was back in Cantha, fighting the Am Fah in the crowded streets of Kaineng City. Oh how easy life is when you can kill some bad guys and discover a rare bow.

Anyway, Guild Wars has been taking up a lot of my life lately. I was finally able to finish the Factions story quests over the weekend. And then I went back to finish up the side quests of the other faction which I wasn't using. So actually, it wasn't all that hard to finish up Guild Wars. Or at least the main storyline. I just... went off track earlier because I wasn't playing the game right.

Now it's time to slow down a bit, maybe go back to Tyria to finish up the high level stuff... and wait for Nightfall in October.

In other news, if you're heading off to the mamak on the other side of the road from your office and you see dark clouds all over the place, please bring an umbrella. Don't end up soaked like me.

Gemmell Dies

2006-07-29T08:40:00.000+08:00

Fantasy writer Gemmell dies at 57

Another light goes out in the world. David Gemmell, with books like Legend, Waylander and the like, will never again thrill us with his unique storytelling. I don't think he ever completed his Troy trilogy. The story of the Rigante is over. Worst of all, no more tales of the Drenai *sob*.

There are some people in this world who deserve to die, and there are some who should live forever. David Gemmell falls into the latter category. His stories have been more inspirational to me than all the inspirational books I've read. Maybe God got sick of waiting for good fantasy stories in Heaven and plucked one of Earth's finest. His gain, our loss. David Gemmell will be missed.

The Stand

2006-06-26T23:58:00.000+08:00

There. That's it. It's done. I shut the book with a satisfying thump, and put it on my table. I've finally finished Stephen King's The Stand. Unabridged. Uncut. Complete. All 1421 pages of it. Me, who have been having problems reading Lovecraftian short stories and shallow literary standins of Jack's Bad Day. Once again, I stand in awe of the master, for words truly are his power. The Stand, a book which I would never have considered reading in the past, devoured in less than a month of reading. By the end, I am sad and regretful that my journey with King's epic cast has come to an end. It was not without some reluctance (but with such hurried anticipation!) that I ended The Stand.

Now that top management in my company has decreed that we should work hard (and not work late for the sake of working), I intend to make an effort leave work early to read more. Only people like King and David Gemmell can make me miss the joy of reading, the art of throwing myself into another place another time another person... and living the lives of millions. A good book is always better than a vacation elsewhere. And cheaper, too.

Jim Wang on Bananas before Meals

2006-05-28T13:30:00.000+08:00

"One banana before each meal helps you live one year longer."
- Jim Wang

Valuation Day

2006-04-13T23:54:00.000+08:00

The valuer from Jones & Lang went to value my new house today. Well, technically, the house's about 12 years old, that's why the bank wants a valuation report. Since my mother knows the current tenant living there and the owner ( who doesn't have the key anyway ) is out of town, I went to get the key from the tenant. She's still in the process of moving out, so her stuff is still all around the place. I've gotta admit, the place is pretty quiet in the late afternoon. Peaceful. I didn't see anyone around except for an old man wearing his shoes. I presume he was going to go jog in the nearby park, although it was hot enough to roast a chicken on the road AND kill the bird flu it's infected with.

So the valuer came, the valuer valued, and then the valuer told me she was done. The tenant had requested that I bring her the air filter she left in the house, so I spent most of the time trying to unplug the air filter. It must have been there forever, cause it did take me some considerable effort to take that plug out. Memo to self: Oil that power socket. After the struggle with the socket, I lugged the air filter out, pretended the guard outside didn't exist, and then continued carrying the air filter to the tenant's house under the hot hot sun. Contrary to popular belief, the 5pm sun can kill you.

That was basically how the valuation went. Initially the valuer told me that the process would take about half an hour, but it ended up taking only about fifteen minutes. Give or take five minutes. I was too busy figuring out the best way to unplug the air filter at that time.

Fast forward to the night. 10pm, and we had just finished a code inspection. I went down with a couple of my colleagues, and on the way to the bank, I slipped on the wet floor and fell on my ass. Ouch. I thought it was going to rain. I didn't know it had already rained. I don't really feel any pain right now, although my left foot is starting to feel uncomfortable. Tomorrow, on the other hand, might prove to be interesting for my body.

Right after the bank, I went off to see Von Darke. Aye, he's back in town ( and here to stay, apparently ). He passed me my laptop hard drive, so my colleagues at work will now have more data than they ever wish they had.

You know how most days it's just work work work? And then you have days like today, where it's work interspersed with much needed exercise under the hot sun with the occasional fall. And when I reached home at 11pm, those savages downstairs were having a live show in the basketball court. It was really loud. Good thing they've stopped now that it's almost midnight. Man, my windows were vibrating.

IM Bot Takeover

2006-04-08T20:28:00.000+08:00

One of my friends (over IM) have been taken over by a bot. An Eliza-type of bot.

[Me] what are you watching these days
[Bot] nothing particular
[Me] how's prison break?
[Bot] on going
[Me] i was reading an article about prison life
[Bot] how's that affecting you?
[Me] apparently there's a lot of rape going on in there
[Me] test
[Me] how are you today
[Bot] i'm good
[Me] i had a marshmallow for tea
[Bot] a marshmallow
[Me] the moon is made out of green cheese
[Bot] the moon is not green in color
[Me] a solution for the greenhouse effect is to eliminate 90% of the current human population
[Bot] is to stop ppl from farting too much
[Me] a friend you could never have before
[Bot] i friend i never had
(slight pause in conversation)
[Bot] what are you watching nowadays?
[Me] 24
[Me] and reading some comics
[Bot] as usual

Notice the non-directional answers e.g. "nothing particular". Or the random answers e.g. "is to stop ppl from farting too much". And then there are those answers which are triggered by certain words e.g. "the moon is made out of green cheese" triggered "the moon is not green in color".

Note that the pause in the conversation above is a time trigger for more realism. After a session of answer/questions, the bot's idle timer (probably randomly set) times out, causing the bot to ask a random question ("what are you watching nowadays?") followed by a random answer ("as usual") to any answer typed in.

My suspicions were raised when I got the "how's that affecting you" response. Thus the slew of unrelated statements to test the bot's logic. Slowly, one by one, these damn bots are taking over my friends.

Springtime for Hitler & Germany

2006-04-02T17:57:00.000+08:00

Springtime for Hitler and Germany
Deutschland is happy and gay
We're marching to a faster pace
Look out, here comes the master race

The Producers. Heh. And to think I thought there won't be any good musicals anymore. Mel Brooks' musical remake of the Broadway hit (which came from his 1968 movie) is simply FABULOUS, I tell you. The songs, the jokes, Ulla, Springtime for Hitler and Germany... man, CLASSIC.

I know I didn't bother with Chicago and Moulin Rouge. They didn't sound really enticing. The moment I read about The Producers while looking for movies to watch over the weekend, I was sold. There's something about Mel Brooks which will always get me to the cinema.

Right now, I've got 'Springtime for Hitler and Germany' looping on Windows Media Player. Soon I'll go find that soundtrack. It's just so... so... so FABULOUS *scream*!

Month Without Blog

2006-03-31T22:34:00.000+08:00

Well, almost. I figured I put this post in before March rolled by. It's been one hectic month. Here are some of the things I've done:

Signed the Sales & Purchase document and got a loan for the house my girlfriend and I are buying
Came down with MSG poisoning (although I suspect it's stress)
Got bogged down with A LOT of work
Unravelled by antihistamines
Put on weight (like what else is new?)

Anyway. My bosses think I'm incompetent. Can't be helped. I've been distracted the whole month by the signing of the S&P. The toll was finally felt this week - I spent the better part of a week trying to debug some silly algorithm and I got nowhere. Nowhere! Now that all the legal stuff is done, I'm starting to get my groove back. Not all at once, mind you. It seems like everytime I swear I'll revert to cool silent and deadly, things just fall apart and I start running around begging for help. It's disgustingly embarrassing, I tell you.

This is it then. It's time to Bauer my current project.

Laying on the Adipose Layers

2006-02-28T21:21:00.000+08:00

Obesity can sneak up on you like a thief in the night. One packet of Cheezels too many, and suddenly there's an extra layer of fat on the tummy. It's tragic how quickly I can gain weight, especially when I take forever to grow just a little thinner. Right now, my stomach is highly flexible. One of the ways I torture myself in the shower is by gathering water in between the folds of stomach fat I have. Then I walk around the toilet for awhile before the emotional pain becomes too much to bear. At that point I let my stomach flop down and watch everything go down the drain with a heavy heart.

Watching my food doesn't seem to be working. I can eat little for lunch and dinner, but somewhere along the line, I'll just lose it and go on to devour everything edible in sight. Kinda like a bear after waking up from a nice bout of hibernation. I fear that age is causing me a lot in terms of mental discipline. Gone is that aluminium will which drove me to do exercise just about everyday. Now all I have is a rubbery will that occasionally gets me off my ass to walk around the house for awhile.

This is how fat middle-aged men are produced. Slowly. Surely. Inevitable.

You cannot run from fatty destiny.

RM0.30 More

2006-02-28T09:24:00.000+08:00

That's 26.04 liters for RM50! I was about to ask how could the government allow such a travesty, but then, I remember that those on top just want to get richer. Bonus, much? I don't buy the propaganda about how Malaysia's petrol is still cheaper than other countries ( apart from Brunei ), and the fact that the savings will be used “to pay for development projects and improving the public transport system for the benefit of all people" just leaves me cold. Isn't that why I pay my damn taxes? And if the government were better at managing development, stuff like the Jelutong highway would have been completed earlier and everyone would have saved more money. Bastards.

Here's a better plan on how to solve this problem. Get a group of like-minded people. Look for the people responsible for this robbery of the Malaysian people. Torture their families in front of them, THEN torture them. Make sure all this is broadcasted live on local television. Make them an example. That'll teach the rich to get richer at the cost of the non-rich.

Pulling Off a Jack Day 4

2006-02-14T14:14:00.000+08:00

There. I've always wanted to break away from that "Oh look, he has a blog. Go read. He disses everyone in it!" trap I managed to weave myself into. And this is how I've done it. Moved everything away from the old site, set up shop with a new template, tweaked some links in my old posts for compatibility with the new URL name. Of course, just about no one knows about this new URL. Which, er, is good in a way. Too many people got to know of my old blog. Some of those people were VERY dangerous. Which is why I had to pull off a Jack Bauer end of Day 4. I always thought I would just leave this one to wither and die while starting another blog somewhere else. Actually tried that twice, in fact. But in the end I figure this way is better. I just never thought moving away from the old one would be like this.

So here we are, new start and all. Kinda empty, eh. It's okay. New identity, new posts. I might even hit that 1000th post someday too.

Orbital

2006-02-09T21:27:00.000+08:00

This has happened before. Sore throat, sore tongue, general feeling of illness. In fact, it happened around the same time of the year last year too. I'm hypothesizing that this is due to orbital factors. Can't say it's the weather, cause the weather in Plantation last year was wonderful and it's just bloody hot now in Penang. Temporal would be a little bit harder to justify - if that's the case, this tongue issue is my version of an annual period. No, I'm going with orbital. The Earth is now a certain distance from the sun, and gravitational factors have led to my hormones changing ( and my teeth growing sharper, if the doctor is to be believed ). And thus, the painful tongue and attendant fever / sore throat / cold / headache / swollen eyes.

The software department I'm working in ( a very big department ) was having their quarterly meeting today when I walked out of the office. I want to say how cool it is that I almost always have an excuse not to attend that department meeting, but I'm starting to fear that enough more times of non-attendance and I'm going to be fired. Especially since our department head always seem to know that I'm not attending that meeting.

I must stop now, for I have a conference call in four minutes. There is truly no rest for the wicked.

Evil Tea

2006-02-03T12:16:00.000+08:00

I had a cup of Beh tea ( named after the guy who gave it to me before he left for UK ) and damnit, I feel dead now. Maybe it's expired tea. Or maybe he spiked it with trace amounts of cynide. Whatever the case, I'm suddenly feeling dizzy and my stomach's real queasy. Is it really the tea? Is it the free roti canai and curry chicken I had for breakfast this morning. No one else seems to be suffering from dizziness and numb fingers and general stomach discomfort, so either I'm dying of something rare or it's the tea.

I was supposed to go "lou sang" with my other colleagues today, but I decided against it due to this sudden bout of weakness. It's nice that they invited me, but strangely, ever since this year started, I've been feeling exceptionally avoidant of people. It doesn't help that things start getting in the way when I want to go hang out with other folks. Is this truly all my making? Will I poison myself in order to avoid socializing with people? To what extent is my subconscious directing my actions?

Or, it could be the excess food I've eaten during CNY. Oh yes, here comes the price for gluttony. All those peanut cookies and kuih kapek is coming back to haunt me now by bringing me to my knees in a horrible moment of weakness.

Or, it could be my mind bringing me to my knees. I've recently noticed a surge of willpower here and there in my daily life. Admittedly, it's not all that likely, but the mind's been known to be able to accomplish certain feats, especially when the directives come from the subconscious. Yes, my greatest enemy is myself. This is such a fun way to go about life ( Hey, didn't I just cover this in an earlier paragraph? You see! I'm not thinking straight! It is a case of food poisoning! ).

Happy Chinese New Year 2006

2006-01-30T10:50:00.000+08:00

Woof woof! It's the Year of the Dog!

I've eaten so much over the past few days I just know I have ballooned up. The end of CNY this year will see some serious food guilt. Actually, the guilt's already creeping up on me, but if I crumble now, I'll never finish all the food in my house. All the lovely peanut cookies and choc chip cookies and kuih kapek... brrr.

The sun has been searingly hot, making this just like another hot CNY. I've only been around town these few days, and the traffic's been admirable. I know there are a lot of cars in Penang right now, but it seems that the majority of them are not in Georgetown. Heard the bridge is jammed real tight though. And just before that, on the eve of CNY, the highway. My advice to the prodigal ones coming home - avoid the rush by travelling when no one else is.

I hope this year brings everyone more fun challenges, more luck and more money. Ganbatte!

Stranded in Prangin

2006-01-26T23:11:00.000+08:00

Stranded, yes. By the 6pm - 7pm traffic jam. My insurance agent informed me that my Maybank account had dried up. Since it was on autodebit mode, I had to haul ass over to Prangin Mall to deposit money into my Maybank account. It was while crossing the road when I realized that none of the vehicles on the road were moving. Jammed. Stuck. Like a gerbil up the ass.

So I contributed to our budaya lepak by loitering around Prangin Mall, exceptionally wary of crude homemade bombs ( I exhibit my wariness by avoiding crowded areas, of which there was none, given that it's a Thursday evening ). The traffic did dry up after awhile. And then I went home. But not before I got tempted to buy a whole lot of stuff. Man, the mall. It is filled with lots of stuff to buy.

Christmas 2005 Came Late

2006-01-22T23:52:00.000+08:00

It's like Christmas. The KL Rose bought me a Malcolm Reynolds action figure from the US, so she's going to heaven. Von Darke helped me bring back a bottle of JD which Geoffrey got for me, and the Simoniac sold me his bottle of Absolut Kurant for RM40. Now I have two liters of alcohol in my fridge and Mal ( Mal! OMG MAL! I'm gonna get me a browncoat someday ) looking at me.

Si Bukit Ada Mata

2006-01-21T14:51:00.000+08:00

Violence and sex make for good movies. That's why I tend to prefer gory films over the dramas. Gory films usually have a healthy amount of bloodletting in them along with some form of sex ( be it nudity or related acts ). I find onscreen violence to be a form of escapism which I really like. That's why I watch 24 - I feel a little happy in my heart everytime Jack Bauer opens up a can of whupass on some bad guy. And then there's the sex = pr0n = always a good thing, even if it's just simulated or plain nudity in gore flicks.

Having just finished High Tension ( FANTASTIC! ), I'm now looking forward to the following movies:

Hard Candy
Hostel
Saw II
Si Bukit Ada Mata
SLiTHER
Wolf Creek

Happy 2nd Anniversary, 3rd Job

2006-01-05T23:03:00.000+08:00

Today marks the 2nd year I've been working in my current company. Two years ago, I came here a little lost, looking to drown myself in work willingly. Today, I'm drowning in work, desperately looking for way out of all this drowning. See? Careful what you wish for.

Today also marks my first day of work after a lazy 2 week ( approximately ) vacation. To celebrate my homecoming, my boss decides to unload some critical work on my lap. Which is why I, now, am still in the office past 11pm. Even though I feel totally poofed. My mental stamina has deteriorated. Not even marathon sessions of Point Pleasant and Cleopatra 2525 ( two series which I dearly love ) could help me maintain my mental stamina for work. Then again, I'm always half asleep on Mondays, so it's probably just my brains getting rusty as usual.

The IronKok, who joined on the same day as me, also celebrates his 2nd anniversary here. He did it by distributing chocolates all around. Man, he must really love this company and its people. It's true, the best way to make people like you is to bribe your way into their hearts through their stomachs. Deep down, everybody's a greedy bastard. It was weird when the IronKok's girlfriend wished me Happy Anniversary this morning though.

So two years later, I look back and see how much things have changed. The first year was a good year. It was the only time I actually felt like I was in a team. Small team, everyone knew everybody else, we ate lunch together, the team was international enough for me to feel like it was the team in Classic X-Men #1. Now, the team has been dissolved to the far ends of the department. The IronKok and the Internet ( another guy ) have found their own cliques ( different ones, mind you ). One of the girls have left for Cyberjaya where she got married, another has been transferred to another team where she's happier. The one guy I used to go for trainings with ( we did Singapore together back in 2004, and just last month - 2005 - we went for another training course together in PSDC ) is leaving the company again. He left at the end of 2004 to do his masters. Now he's leaving to pursue his PHd. Ironic how friendships survive only to be doomed to fade away in the future. There were others too. Back then, with a team so small, we invariably made friends with everyone else who came in at the same time. There's Fye and MelorTelor and some other folks. Of course, all the folks I like have to leave the company / team.

That leaves me. Teamless in the sense of friendship. I haven't been able to blend in comfortably ever since my department turned China in a hurry. Not that I have anything against that. It's just sometimes I think I might think too differently from the rest of them. And in this place, that kind of mentality of being different isn't really recommended. So here I end my 2 year anniversary at this place of work. Alone. With the occasional team support. Kinda like Jack ( Bauer, not the doctor from Lost ) on one of his days. Just not so dramatic, you know. Or action-packed. Or exciting. Or explosive.

Consolidations

2006-01-04T20:25:00.000+08:00

Today being the last day of my holidays, I decided to do something useful. I went banking. Big time. Closed three accounts, moved money ( what little I had left in those accounts ) around... stuff like that. The highlight of my banking trip was the Indian guy at the Southern Bank cash deposit machine. He took an insane amount of time depositing RM50k in RM50 denominations. Plus, the machine kept on rejecting his notes ( it rejected quite a number of my notes too ), so he kept on reinserting his cash. Again and again and again. RM50k. Phew. Maybe he had more and he just didn't want to tell the truth.

After the nice banking trip, I decided to do a little hiking. Only made it up to Number 5 this time. I wanted to avoid the after office rush hour, but in actual fact, I'm really out of shape. So I hurried down, did one round around the gardens and then I went home. Poofed. I feel so heavy now. Like a giant fat slug ready to roll over and sleep.

Happy New Year 2006

2006-01-01T00:42:00.000+08:00

We bid a fond farewell to 2005, and off we go with 2006!

With painful joints due to some gym action *ow*.

Prelude to More Pain

2005-12-31T00:12:00.000+08:00

Pain, yes. My body is already starting to feel sore. My arms, especially, are starting to feel like they're going to drop off. Von Darke burned a Visitor's Pass to get me into Fitness First today. For a couple of hours, we worked the machines hard. Well, maybe not that hard. I'm way out of shape, and Von Darke's only started gymning. Tomorrow, I will pay the price. There will be pain.

But you know, I kinda like the gym thing. It actually cleared my sinus. And the sauna really rocked. They should open something like this in the Bayan Baru area. Then I will seriously consider joining a gym.

Sources of Pain

2005-12-29T23:25:00.000+08:00

So for the past couple of days, the piles were getting to me. Pain, occasionally pulsing pain, coming from the region of my shithole. The lumps were sensitive, sometimes too sensitive ( and when I had to use the toilet paper on it... man, it was like caressing a swollen boil with sandpaper ). Most importantly, the pain was free. I didn't have to pay a single cent and tada! Free pain.

This afternoon, in our quest for a hard drive to replace my ( once thought dead but apparently only faking then ) dying hard drive, Von Darke the elder managed to convince me to go for a foot massage. They call it foot reflexology, but I call it paid torture aka the pain which is not free. I give them RM30 and for the next 45 minutes, they destroy my feet and my back. It was half an hour on the feet and 15 minutes on the back and shoulders, but it felt like forever. Especially the feet part. Von Darke's masseur seemed to be of the lepak kind, but mine is a professional. A specialist. An artist. Someone who takes great pride in delivering the best massage session possible. A person who will stop at nothing to ensure that you get you RM30 worth of massage. He attacked his job with gusto and since my feet was his job, OH MY GOD you can imagine my agony. He poked HARD. He squeezed HARD. He pulled HARD. He pushed HARD. He is an artist, and my poor battered feet was his canvas. I'm a little surprised that I'm still able to walk properly.

Von Darke assures me that I will sleep well tonight. Given the amount of pain my body has been through these past few days, sleep will be my only reprieve.

Vacation Thursday

2005-12-29T11:55:00.000+08:00

Or something like that. I find myself at home, logged into the company network, watching the X-Files. Yippee. I'm also taking this opportunity to clean up my blogroll. Jaclyn has vanished, and Fye is now female ( he actually stopped blogging sometime ago hehe ).

So the pain from the piles seem to have subsided. For now. I dozed off at around 11.30pm while reading the Da Vinci Code. I've eaten my brunch and the piles didn't cause me extreme pain like yesterday, but the lumps are still there. I'm hoping it'll go away in time. In the meantime, I'll be consuming a lot of psyllium husk. Lots. Oodles. So much that I'll turn myself into a fiber monster. Anything to prevent a brief vision of hell when I go to the toilet.

End of the Year Piles

2005-12-28T09:33:00.000+08:00

It wouldn't let me go into the next year without forcing me to bid 2005 a painful farewell. Yes, it is the return of the piles. Those invisible ( to me, visible to everybody else ) little lumps which are causing me intense grief 24/7. I can feel them, you know. There's a large one accompanied by one or two little ones. They're painful as hell, have I mentioned that? When I'm standing, I'm in agony. When I'm walking, I'm in agony. When I'm sitting... *owww*. Doesn't help that I have training now, which means sitting down for nearly 8 hours today. I'm ready to break out into a heartrending edition of "My Lumps".

Here are some survival tips for the constipated:

Do not clench. Trust me on this.
Move slow. Like we have Speed in Quake III, right? Do the opposite. Do Slow.
If walking / standing / sitting is painful, lie down. Assume the position. Anyone walking in might take advantage of your ass hanging in the air, so lock the door or wear some pants when assuming the position. With your ass up like that, you will not irritate the lumps.
Consume some kind of fiber like there's no tomorrow. If I hadn't taken psyllium husk earlier, I would be dead now, and this post would have been blogged from Purgatory at least. When you have painful lumps causing you grief right next to your shithole, take evasive action by making your excrement delightfully soft.
Do not clench. Really.
Consult the doctor if you start experiencing pain overwhelming. The doctor might tie a thread to the lump and pull, but I might have misunderstood the doctor when he told me that.

And so I leave you now in agony, as I finish up the last day of my training. If I never post again, it is possible that the lumps have grown so big that they've exploded, killing me. In that case, I bid you a fond (yet painful) farewell.

Merry Christmas 2005

2005-12-25T23:40:00.000+08:00

Hello everybody. Merry Christmas 2005. Somehow, I can't stop thinking about the X-File episode where we have the Cigarette Smoking Man alone for Christmas. The one where he wanted to be a writer, but failed. The one with "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year" playing in the background.

And you thought you had issues.

Congratulations Kenny & Burger King

2005-12-11T02:08:00.000+08:00

Gentlemen, congratulations on getting married. As I'm typing this, I hope you're pounding your wives like there's no tomorrow. I hope you get her all slimy and sweaty and sticky. I hope your marriages last forever, as all marriages are supposed to last. I hope you continue pounding your wives till death do you part. And if Zombie Honeymoon is any indication, I hope you keep on pounding your wives until the end of time.

POUND AWAY, GENTLEMEN. MAKE THEM THE HAPPIEST WOMEN ON EARTH.

Salut.

Common Ground

2005-11-30T23:49:00.000+08:00

Question:
Polis Diraja Malaysia.
Jack Bauer right after 24 Season 4.
Me.

What do we have in common?

Answer:
China doesn't like us.

Sixteen Years - Every Night - Different Image

2005-11-19T21:39:00.000+08:00

Man haunted by sex-hungry ghost seeks medium’s help

For sixteen. Bloody. Years.

The 34-year-old man from Kuala Lumpur, known only as Kelvin, said he felt very tired every night as the long-haired ghost would lure him into making love with her by appearing in different images.

GODDAMN.

It's All about the Anger

2005-11-17T10:26:00.000+08:00

Film on addiction to prostitutes opens

BALTIMORE: Iranian-American filmmaker Caveh Zahedi says his addiction to prostitution was more about anger than sex, an issue that he takes up in his latest biographical film, I Am A Sex Addict.

Yes, but what about addiction to masturbation? Someone needs to make a film about all those compulsive masturbators out there. I think there might be a difference between a sex addict and a compulsive masturbator. Sure, it's all about the sexual pleasure, but if having too much sex with prostitutes indicates you're angry at your mother or the female sex in general ( thus you treat women like sex objects ), would compulsive masturbation indicate you're angry at yourself ( thus you treat yourself like a sex object)?

He was able to get over it by attending Sex Addicts Anonymous meetings, he added.

Sigh.

One Use of Espionage Skills

2005-11-16T19:46:00.000+08:00

Splinter Cell.

Heh heh heh. So this is what you can do if you're a highly trained field operative.

Housewives? Desperate

2005-11-12T00:21:00.000+08:00

After getting Lost on an island, I have decided to go join the desperate housewives on Wisteria Lane. Man. Why can't 24 start NOW?

Well actually, Desperate Housewives isn't that bad. Yes, I like those gossipy women.

Goodnight Mrs. Prime Minister

2005-10-20T22:46:00.000+08:00

Good night, and good luck in the hereafter.

It is strange, but it takes the death of someone important's wife to get classical music playing on our radio channels. I thought I was in the Twilight Zone when I got into my car after work and tuned into Mix FM. That or the rain accidentally diverted Astro's Opus channel to 91.0. It wasn't until the end of the current piece that they announced that all programmes had been put on hold in respect for the PM's late wife. What a shame. As I was driving home, I realized that it would be so nice to have a classical channel we could tune in to anytime of the day. We really could do with a pure classical channel.

In the office, I received that 'Monday is a public holiday' hoax email. Again, Monday is not a holiday as speculated. Look, the poor lady died. Lay off the fake news. My company even had to send out a circular stating that it was work as usual next Monday.

Also, my cubemate's father got hit by a lorry from behind while riding his motorcycle. It's really fortunate that he got away with just some broken ribs. I mean, motorcycle and lorry ( going fast too, apparently )? Not many motorcyclists walk away alive from those kinds of encounter.

And for our scandalous news item of the day, we have seeing red over sex romps on luxury buses. How can anyone resist news which begin with:

SEX romps and discarded condoms and panties on long-haul luxury buses – this is the gist of a saucy front-page report in Harian Metro that tells about the goings-on among some passengers in the express coaches after dark.

Here's the Harian Metro article.

And so Endon leaves us in this state. May she find peace in the afterlife.

Where there is life...

2005-10-18T22:14:00.000+08:00

...there is Vasparov.

Lots and lots of Vasparov.

It is cheap.

It is convenient.

It is not as good-tasting as Absolut.

But it is life.

Hot Zone

2005-10-12T23:50:00.000+08:00

The scary thing about working in an area designated as a dengue hot zone? Getting bitten by a mosquito. Of course, I don't know if it's an Aedes mosquito or just your average run-of-the-mill mosquito. I never saw the perp. Guess I'll find out in a few days' time.

Someone should do something about the mess of undergrowth all over the place, and that abandoned construction building just after my workplace's carpark is just the breeding ground for mosquitoes. Earlier, we were afraid that the abandoned site would play host to a bunch of pervies. Now I fear it's filled with dengue-fevered perverts.

Not Another Quake

2005-10-11T23:45:00.000+08:00

I was pulling my hair out waiting for the server to refresh when I gradually became aware of the shaking. Not another quake. It's been horrible, these earthquakes. This time, Northern Sumatra at an estimated magnitude of 6.0 ( but these early figures have been known to be slightly inaccurate ). From the looks of it, it's quite near Bandar Aceh. Man, it sucks to live in that area.

Take a look. And remember, stay away from the beaches in the meantime.

In other news, when I went to draw money from HSBC after dinner today, there was this suspicious guy in a red shirt there which gave me the creeps. Firstly, that balding fellow kept on looking at me. He was in front of me in the queue to use the ATM, and he used the ATM pretty fast before going over to the deposit machines. After I withdrew my money, he followed me out of the bank. I headed to the lift, which required a left turn at a junction in the building instead of going straight, which led out to the carpark. And this fellow followed me to the elevator area. I was armed with my umbrella ( thought it was going to rain - guess not ) and the lift area was exposed to the outside world ( they hadn't closed the grate down yet ). He appeared there, then did a detour outside out to the carpark.

Asshole. I do not like people following me. I do not like people encroaching on my personal bubble. I'm still in the office at 11.45pm and with the quake and all, I am not in the mood to be friendly.

Regardless, that was kinda creepy.

Monday Night at the Lights

2005-10-11T00:39:00.000+08:00

So there I was, cruising to a stop behind a car at the traffic lights outside the Macallum Street area. Red light, late night, rainy night... I was taking the drive slow and steady, like an asteroid hurtling silently through the icy coldness of space. Okay, so I was feeling tired and I really didn't want to crash my car on account of bad judgement and slippery roads.

And so I waited patiently behind the other car, dum de dum de dum, when lo and behold, this other car comes up along the lane next to us ( which was empty because it was the right turn lane ). You know how hunters know when the deer is going to run away? Like that, I knew that the cocky bastard in the car was going to cut our lane and go straight. So I just waited and see, and then this police car comes sidling up behind that cocky car. And then, with the light still red, the cocky bastard went off straight down the road. The police car crept up to the front a bit - probably to check the traffic - and then it too went off in hot pursuit of the car. I wanted to give chase too, just to see what happened, but instead decided that I didn't want to get caught in a firefight in case those two were packing heat ( I just know the police are armed ).

That was the end of Monday's strangeness. I mean, there was other stuff going on. Like how my tech paper became a marketing promotion for an application I was supposed to write about. Or how the Doom trailer is horribly... horrible ( I dread the movie ). Or how Serenity might be having less than stellar takings in the box office, but somehow I'm feeling... serene about it. It's just another Monday, complete with weirdness and all. Oh wait. It's Tuesday now.

Lizard on my Windshield

2005-10-07T01:03:00.000+08:00

I was heading home shortly after midnight when I realized the lizard on my car bonnet. It was young, not yet an adult. The skin was still pale and spotless, the eyes large black dots on its little reptilian head. I observed it for awhile when my car stopped at the traffic lights outside Sunshine Square. It moved to the front of the bonnet, then back again to the windshield. I was tempted to turn on my wipers when it came within range, but I decided that decapitating a lizard at midnight wasn't exactly what I wanted to do. Anyway, it would have been messy.

So I drove steadily to the Bayan Baru roundabout, keeping an eye on the lizard. I had this fear that it would suddenly find its way into the car, but that didn't happen. After the roundabout, the lizard headed further up the windshield, its head facing upwards towards the roof of my car. And I stepped on the accelerator.

120km/h, and still the lizard clung on to the windshield. It was motionless all the time as I accelerated and maintained that speed for quite awhile. Finally, fearful of speedtraps and the occasional hidden police, I finally slowed down to a decent 80km/h. At the highway outside Sunnyville, I realized that the lizard had suddenly moved much further to the left of the windshield, its head now facing the front of the car. A moment later, the lizard was gone. I surmise my little reptilian friend must have tried to move around a bit as the car was traveling at 80km/h. That's a good way to get yourself blown away.

Thus ends the tale of the lizard on my windshield. In other news, as I reached the Georgetown end of the Jelutong Highway (where we have the half-completed flyover), there was this car going down the highway very slowly in the opposite direction. What a doofus. I hope no one gets killed on account of the driver of that vehicle.

Happy Midautumn Festival 2005

2005-09-19T01:08:00.000+08:00

I feel that sleeping late on Sunday nights is both my right and my privilege. That's because on Monday mornings, foul moods are tolerable, even acceptable as the norm ( Monday blues, baby ). Also, Monday morning is the time when I quaff my near-lethal essence of chicken ( now with cordyceps ) and caffeine energy tonic. It's almost the equivalent of injecting pure adrenaline directly into my veins. According to some people, it's a wonder I'm still alive and walking.

The weekend has come and gone, and we had a beautiful moon this weekend. Happy midautumn festival everybody. Also, Happy Mooncake Day. This year, I didn't get to eat a complete lotus seed mooncake. Damn, but I love lotus seed mooncakes. Unfortunately, they're extremely sweet and unhealthy for me, so I try to cut down. My cubemate did give me tiny slices of lotus seed and coconut mooncakes though. And Sharon the Vampire Slayer gave me pieces of jelly mooncake. And now I also have cheese and chocolate mooncakes in the fridge, but the skin tastes kinda crappy. My lil sis and I suspect that it's cheap mooncake.

Right now, I'm working on some training slides. I'm starting to think that maybe it's a good idea I never got into the training profession. Not only do I not know how to explain something to people so that they can understand it, I also absolutely detest the mindcrippling task of preparing training slides. It's not something I'm good at. Somehow, this ranks as one of those tasks which I do very slowly. Very. Slowly. Slower than two snails engaged in a competition to see who is slower. Slower than metal rusting in a vacuum-sealed environment. It's a good thing we have people like Sara Cox to keep me company. BBC did the right thing putting their radio shows online.

Anyway, we caught Land of the Dead on Saturday. Fantastic zombie movie, I absolutely loved it. It felt very different from the rest... Night, Dawn and Day were humourless and bland in comparison. Of course, Land has the ever-delectable Asia Argento. She's the kinda girl you want around when all hell's broken loose in the world. Well actually, Lt. Ellen Ripley is the woman to have around when all hell's broken loose, but we're talking about Land of the Dead, not Aliens. Right now, it's just too bad that my company frown upon beautiful artistic expressions of the human body, cause there's this nude picture of Asia Argento which so belongs to my desktop at work.

I can't help wondering how the movie would have turned up if they had gotten Marc Blucas play the title role of Riley. "Yeah, well, I once had a girlfriend who would have known exactly how to deal with this zombie outbreak. Yes, Buffy Summers would have opened a whole can of whupass on them all right." Sigh.

What Is Your Doom?

2005-09-16T10:31:00.000+08:00

Take the Hecatomb™ TCG What Is Your Doom? quiz.

Towards Post Titles & Blogger Comments

2005-09-16T01:07:00.000+08:00

I've got to stop these late night postings. It can't be healthy. Right now, the chicken essence and the coffee are kicking in with a vengeance. Kind of like how Anakin started slashing away merrily at the sandpeople ( "Not just the men, but the women and the children too. They're like animals, and I slaughtered them like animals... I hate them!" ). Feeling like this after midnight with a working day looming over me tomorrow isn't exactly my idea of a fun-filled Thursday night.

While waiting for my stuff to build today, I went to add titles to this blog. Pretty nifty, eh. Nice words above the posts sized just one pixel bigger, in a different colour too. I wanted to use Javascript to only insert the title if it actually had text, but I gave up trying to figure out how after awhile. So now all of my old posts will have a bigger spacing on top of them.

Next on my to-do list is to migrate over to Blogger comments. YACCS is nice and all, but it has different downtimes from Blogger ( not that Blogger has all that many downtimes these days anyway ). The one thing stopping me from moving over now is the fact that I will lose all my old comments if I do that. Actually, I think I remember an article over at Blogger somewhere which says that I can use my old comments along with the new Blogger comments. I must go look for that article again later. And then I'll have to choose between popup comments and comments which are on the same page as the post. Decisions, decisions.

Actually, you know what? My titles are horribly pedestrian. I really need to start sexing them up. Talk about a serious lack of imagination.

Fireworks in September after Midnight

2005-09-15T00:56:00.000+08:00

W. T. F. Some assholes just let off a whole bunch of fireworks from the squatter area ( where we once had the fire so long ago ). Farking loud. Now I feel wide awake. And out for blood. And now really lacking sleep.

But, such pretty fireworks. They let off the loud types which exploded in a nice fountain shape. Not that many colours though. I guess they can do that now that no one's living there anymore. Government's chasing everyone away so that they can make that grand highway of theirs. Hail the Jelutong Highway. May it bring even more traffic jams to this already besieged area of town. Curses!

Right. Now heading back to Sleep Part II. And please. No more fireworks tonight. I really need sleep. No, really really.

Real Life Fall (Whee)

2005-09-08T22:01:00.000+08:00

Damnit I tripped over a stair and fell. LIKE A SACK OF BIG FAT POTATOES. Thank God my new A780 didn't get damaged, but I can't say the same for my right elbow ( minimal ) and my left leg. In fact, there's a swelling on my left leg now. I should have pressed a cup of cold water against it. Unfortunately, my brain ( which wasn't hurt in the fall ) was somehow addled by the shock, and I went to press a cup of hot water instead. Strangely, the cold water doesn't seem to be as effective as the hot water. Go figure. I keep thinking of Nicolas Cage in Con Air when he got shot in the arm and didn't even flinch. Chris assures me it's just a movie, but damn, that's so inspirational. Kinda like how Christians regard the suffering of Christ on the cross, how Buddhists regard Buddha starving away in the wilderness and how treehugging hippies regard Gandhi getting his brains blown out. I'm not sure what Muslims find inspirational. Maybe Muhammad had excruciating headaches ala Doyle / Cordelia when his wahyus came. I don't know. I can't say. They always gloss over these things in the religious books because they want people to buy into the religion ( and by this I mean Christianity in particular, of which I reserve a very special fondness in my heart for ).

So. Ow. I really want to go home now and nurse my wounds / cheat through the last couple of missions of The Frozen Throne because I want to start and finish Dungeon Siege ASAP, but I'm still waiting for some guy who's at 10am Wednesday to get back to me about something.

2005-09-05T11:30:00.000+08:00

So after this morning's therapy session ( with two therapists at the same time, no less ), I've concluded that all my life, I've wanted to belong to something. Actually, this explains why I was happy back in school and why I'm so unhappy these days. The disciplinary board and the scouts were there. I belonged. And this also explains ShitLode, which was an attempt to belong to something.

We had a paintball teambuilding outing last Friday. According to the mutual masturbatory mails being sent around now, everyone had a good time and the outing achieved its objective of forming teambuilding spirit. Well, yay them. I've never felt so isolated in my life. The teambuilding outing completely destroyed my sense of belonging. I can't seem to relate to any of my "team" mates anymore. This is why I never want to go for teambuilding events. They totally wipe out any sense of team for me.

Actually, the outing put certain things into perspective for me. I'm pretty much the normal loser I've always suspected I was. I should be happy I'm just normal. Mundane. Run-of-the-mill. Pedestrian. I wanted to be different when I was younger. And then when I discovered I was different, I wanted to be normal again. And now that I finally realize I'm normal, I want to be different. You can tell that I got my sense of fickleness from my mother.

It's sad that after such a well-praised teambuilding event, the only friends I feel I have left are people not from my team. Sigh. *Headache*. It's definitely me, isn't it? After all, the rest of the team gelled well. And me? The farking cheese stands alone.

WELCOME BACK FRANK

2005-08-30T14:45:00.000+08:00

Ravenloft - The End (Again)

2005-08-24T10:36:00.000+08:00

Arthaus Reverts Rights to RAVENLOFT and GAMMA WORLD to Wizards of the Coast
Sword & Sorcery Studios to release electronic manuscript for VAN RICHTEN’S GUIDE TO THE MISTS

Atlanta, GA and Renton, WA; August 15, 2005 — Arthaus Publishing, Inc. and Wizards of the Coast, Inc. today announced that they have reached an agreement for the reversion of rights to the RAVENLOFT and GAMMA WORLD campaign settings. Wizards of the Coast has tentatively agreed to allow White Wolf, which solicits and sells all Arthaus products, to continue to sell back stock in both lines under its Sword & Sorcery umbrella brand through June of 2006.

This reversion means that the RAVENLOFT supplement Van Richten's Guide to the Mists will not see print. Sword & Sorcery Studios will release the unproofed manuscript (by authors Carla Hollar and Rucht Lilavivat and outgoing developers Jackie Cassada and Nicky Rea) as a free download available at http://www.swordsorcery.com. The manuscript will be available this September.

"It has been a pleasure to publish and work on these two classic properties," said Stewart Wieck, Managing Editor of Sword & Sorcery Studios. "These are icons of the RPG culture, and I think we did them justice, added to their lore, and gave them a fresh treatment for this generation of gamers."

Arthaus Publishing licensed the rights to RAVENLOFT, the gothic horror brand of DUNGEONS & DRAGONS®, in 2001 and—under the Sword & Sorcery banner—has released 19 different products in the line over the last four years. Van Richten's Guide to the Mists was to be the twentieth product in the line. Arthaus licensed GAMMA WORLD in 2002 and released six products in the line.

"Sword & Sorcery has done a great job with both lines," said Rich Redman, Wizards of the Coast's Assistant Brand Manager for Licensing. "We never had any doubts that these lines were in good hands."

The end of another Ravenloft era. What will it take to kill off Ravenloft? This is the second time it's died. First was TSR. Now it's Arthaus. Sigh. It's horrible. I guess I'll go start writing up notes for my own campaign world now.

Ravenloft... The End
The Beginning of... WORLD OF PROSECRAFT

2005-08-18T14:27:00.000+08:00

There's been the haze, the insane workload at work and the loud music because of the hungry ghost festival. I also went to sign up for PPS (Project Petaling Street), but since my posts aren't usually noteworthy, I won't be pinging anything anytime soon. Which makes me a sleeping member of the PPS. And why is it called the PPS anyway? Shouldn't it be the PSP (Petaling Street Project)? The Omnicron Conspiracy. The Last Crusade. The Seventh Seal. The Petaling Street Project. Maybe it's a Malaysian thing. Projek Lebuh Petaling. Projek Petaling Street. Project Petaling Street. Or maybe it's my damnable Westernized grammar. Fie on you for colonizing my country, you English people!

On the haze, a pox on whoever who started the forest fires which has caused us all to be enveloped in smoke. It's tempting to just call every Indonesian a dirty forest-burning bastard, but I doubt the entire country turned up en masse to set their forests on fire just so that we can suffocate. No, this is the work of a few people, and we must hang them. Or burn them. I kinda prefer burning them, since they're so fond of burning trees. What would the Night Elves do if they found out that us humans are still burning their precious little trees?

And then there is The Star. On the day the haze hit Penang, I woke up to find the words "WHAT A RELIEF!" all over the front page of The Star. Outside, visibility was so low I couldn't see the Jelutong Highway anymore, let alone the hills or Butterworth. And what did The Star had to say about it? "WHAT A RELIEF!". This front page "rubbing it in because you have the haze and I don't" continued with pictures of children playing under blue skies and bright sun. They should tout it as 'The Klang Valley People's Paper'. Bastards. Karma has gone around and now the haze has come back to haunt us all by blanketing everybody equally. Please, don't start a civil war between the north and the south by snubbing your northern cousins when the haze decides to take a walk to the upper peninsular. Sometimes, I think Lim Kit Siang had the right idea when he went "BURRRN THE STAR!" so long ago.

2005-08-08T16:48:00.000+08:00

The plight of the owls touches my heart. There they are, sleeping peacefully, and then suddenly bulldozers come rushing in, slamming down their homes and everything. It's ridiculously rude. All that hardwork making a place comfy and then these bunch of so-called 'evolved' apes just destroy everything to make way for the next phase of the Jelutong highway.

And you know? We shouldn't stand for it. Yes. We. We shall not stand by and watch while our government destroys the natural habitats of these precious white owls! Ask yourself! What would Harry Potter say if he finds out that you're just standing around while dozens of near-extinct white owls are deprived of their living spaces and forced to relocate, a relocation which might fail and end in certain death? How would you explain to your children when they ask you why you allowed the white owls to fade away by not doing anything when the government was destroying their homes?

Our time is now! Our hearts must now be one as we embark on the...

SAVE THE JELUTONG OWLS CAMPAIGN!

Here, have some little mini-banner thingies to show your support for the Jelutong Owls.

All together now:
"Save the owls! Save the owls! Save the owls! Save the owls!"

Save the Jelutong Owls. For they are our future.

2005-08-07T23:28:00.000+08:00

Ah, here we are on a Sunday night. It's been a fun start for the hungry ghost festival so far.

Friday night:
Father saw a white owl perched on a car when he came home from work. It flew away when he approached it.
Friend in Vietnam thought she saw something.
I helped set up hungry ghost prayer stuff. Candles, joss sticks, hell money.

Tonight:
I saw a white owl flying over the Jelutong Highway.

Well, the Vietnam thingy turned out to be a hallucination ( I *think* ). The core of the whole "fun start" experience is the owl, but my father has a theory. Lately, the swamp area and the many patches of wild vegetation around my house has been cleared to make way for the next phase of the Jelutong highway. It's not something I agree with, but there's nothing I can do while the government just tear apart whole parts of town and turn my quiet peaceful neighbourhood into the slums ( for real this time ). Anyway, all this destruction has made quite a lot of patches of trees extinct. So the poor owls have been displaced, and now they must seek out new homes. Poor little birdies. Farking government.

And now, a Hungry Ghost Month community awareness message:

"Do not stay out after 10pm".

2005-08-05T17:32:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling all down and demotivated today, but one piece of news managed to perk me up.

HAPPY HUNGRY GHOST SEASON!

FYI, today's the first day. I should known it was that time of the year when I saw the fire on the road and the burning papers whirling around in a circle when I was driving home last night.

Yes, it's the month-long Halloween. Dust off your Ouija boards. Polish your RM0.50 coins. Buy another bottle of beer and go break it for a piece of glass. The spirits are here and they're here to staaaaaaay ( for one month, at least)!

2005-08-04T20:01:00.000+08:00

It's another fun night in the office. Today, we have with us... an ulcer. Yes, ulcer. That thing that's a minor annoyance at a minimal and a reason to kill everyone and yourself at most. Is okay though. I'm cool.

With lack of sleep and all, I'm starting to regress to my less civilized more brutal self. Back to the one who broods and meditates upon the destruction of all speed trap police while waiting for his build to finish. Back to the almighty violent unforgiving Man-God who walks this earth with strife and suffering beside him. Back, you might say, to the basics.

[Reality check: This means I'm just grumpier and melodramaticer... melodramatiker... more melodramatic than usual.]

Rage, yeah. Rage against the speedtraps in the morning when you're late for a meeting. RAGE, my brethren, against idiots who do not understand that the only people who are in a hurry in the morning are people who are late for work - the rest will be half asleep turtles causing everyone else behind them consternation and grief. You wanna organize a little speedtrap party, you cocksuckers, you hold them in the night when aimless young people who should just DIE anyway are racing up and down looking to turn each other into blood confetti.

Man, you can tell when the ulcer is getting to me. I'm more subversive and rebellious than ever. At my age, that's saying a lot. It's the quarterlife crisis, I tell you. The red sportscar and the underaged 16-year-old chick is not too bloody far away.

2005-08-03T22:10:00.000+08:00

I'm sitting in a building in Penang, Malaysia listening to a radio station from the UK playing 'Everything I Do I Do It For You' which was sung by a Canadian and I find myself missing my room in Plantation, Florida. That was a nice room where I drank a lot of Budweiser and watched lots of American TV.

I met one of my old schoolmates in the toilet today ( he's now a colleague I don't work with ) and he said, "Yeah, I miss the US too". If not for him, I won't be missing the land of big cars and bigger portions of food now. Jamie Dunbar isn't helping by playing all those old 90s songs. We used to tune in to a radio station which played a lot of old songs when we were driving around in the US ( driving was something we did a lot ).

The Domino Effect

2005-07-27T17:50:00.000+08:00

We start off with yesterday. The training session I was looking forward to was brutally cancelled for me and another colleague because of some emergency development. I'm still seething here about it, but I try not to let it colour too much of my thoughts about management. This is work, yeah. Duty above all, baby.

And then again yesterday, while waiting for a meeting, one of my colleagues told the others that I looked like a papaya. In Mandarin. And of course everyone laughed. And then they laughed again when someone was kind enough to translate it to me. Actually they're still laughing about it today. I don't care how old they are, humans ARE cruel. Little bastards.

So I started off the day all weary and severely demotivated. The development emergency is a justified emergency ( kinda ), but I wish they had told us about it earlier. It's trudgingly painful work when the coding you do is akin to bashing a cement wall really hard to make a hole through it. The "fried brains" feeling I get at the end of the day would be equivalent to the bloody fists with shredded flesh and exposed bone.

Well, here I am now at the end of the day. Fried brains? Yeah. Feeling like my body shape is papaya-ish? Yeah. I can't really hate them for speaking the truth. It's not my fault that they derive enjoyment out of poking fun at other people's lesser points.

No wait. I must do away with the passive aggressive shit. Now that I'm aware of that, I'm starting to realize a) how passive aggressive I can get and b) that there are a lot of passive aggressive bastards around me. This is bad. We musn't be bad. We must be good and treat each other like proper human beings.

2005-07-26T20:11:00.000+08:00

It's another fun night at work. Today went mostly well. I tried my best to subdue my psychoses. I didn't lose my temper. I didn't fall into depression. I didn't chop anybody into tiny little pieces. Somehow, though, I'm not sure if this is how I cure myself, or if I'm just bottling stuff up so that I can explode in a rampage of violent genocide later. You know how things are. The normal guy next to you is so pathetically normal, and before you know it, he's gone and chopped up his entire department. I think everyone knows someone like that. I sure don't want to be that someone. Although, you know, departmenticide doesn't sound like too bad an idea at certain times of the day.

2005-07-25T22:28:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, reading self-help books in order to perform self-therapy yourself can result in a massive dive in morale. Imagine reading a book about five different personality disorders. And then imagine finding out, upon self-diagnosis, that you suffer from each and every one of those disorders in varying degrees. I don't mean mildly suffering from those disorders - there's a fair amount of magnitude in how much I'm affected. To say that I'm screwed up up there might actually be a fair assessment of my mental condition.

Of course, I could be seeing assassins where there are only shadows. The gift of paranoia is mine, all of it. And from paranoia, I experience other personality disorders in lesser ( but nonetheless worrying ) degrees. Or so my paranoia tells me. I mean, I could just be mildly paranoid, ready to see the worst in everything. Or maybe I'm really constantly almost losing it but never really quite. Whatever the case, hehe, at least I know why life isn't all that boring for me as it is for some other people I know. Cause seriously, can life be boring if it's constantly under threat of crumbling apart?

2005-07-21T12:27:00.000+08:00

Brand's Essence of Chicken.

If they want to charge so much for it, why couldn't they make it taste BETTER? Damn, but that was horrible. I think I know how this increases your metabolism rate. It tastes so bad that it evokes nausea in the stomach, and that causes the whole body to revolt against the essence. Or maybe I shouldn't have downed it after a slice of papaya. Well, we shall see if I doze off at work again today. My colleague gave me a multivitamin yesterday which was also supposed to increase my metabolism rate, but I ended up sleeping after lunch.

Update at 2.51pm:
Damn thing didn't work. I nearly fell off my chair earlier at around 2.15pm.

2005-07-14T15:42:00.000+08:00

KWSP Tip of the Day:
And if you go to the KWSP website, you can register yourself (requires EPF pin number). Then you can go collect your PIN from the EPF office ( the new building near Citibank in town ). And then you can start checking up on your EPF account online. Apparently you can't do any transactions, but you can see how much you've accummulated so far. Apparently.

2005-07-13T16:53:00.000+08:00

Interesting tidbit for those not in the know:
Daylight Savings Time begins on the first Sunday of April and ends on the last Sunday of October.

And I'm just a little bit more knowledgeable today than I was yesterday. All together now...

OH
YOU
LOOK
SO
BEAUTIFUL TONIGHT
In the city
Of blinding liiiiiiiiiights

2005-06-24T18:34:00.000+08:00

Have you noticed how, after some time of not shitting, the initial stuff which you expel from your ass is hard (and dark in colour), while the later stuff is soft (and light in colour)? It is, you know. This is why it's been rough on my ass of late. Yes, I've been lightly blending together an assortment of fruits everyday (apples, oranges, starfruits, bananas) to help. And it's been helping. Really helping, what with all the fibre I've been steadily consuming. Yesterday though, I nearly died. Took too much coffee cause I had to prep for that presentation and THEN the price came: The Agony in the Toilet. Jesus Christ, I couldn't walk right for about fifteen minutes. If you want to know how it feels, try jamming a broomstick up your ass without any form of lubrication beforehand. There's still a dull ache in my ass today. Ow.

2005-06-23T15:15:00.000+08:00

Random thought: If I die now, I wouldn't have to conduct the training class.

Thought review: A little bit too extreme to get out of a little trouble, isn't it?

2005-06-15T15:01:00.000+08:00

The Two Kings

Jesus H. Christ!

2005-06-13T10:57:00.000+08:00

I'm right now having this scary day at work and all I can think is: Wouldn't it be cool if I could throw fireballs from my hands? And I don't mean slow-moving fireballs which take some time to regenerate after a few throws. I'm talking rapid-fire insta-hurling fireballing action. Picture those machines which shoot out tennis balls at you on full-auto mode with unlimited ballmunition. Yeah, that's what I want. Rapidfire fireballing action.

Oh man, it's only Monday and already I'm cracking. It's ONLY Monday. I can't believe it. *crack*

2005-06-12T11:45:00.000+08:00

Linking Net group set abuzz by nude blogger with Sarong Party Girl [SuicideGirls].

THE local blogging community is buzzing after a girl posted nude pictures of herself on the Internet.

Writing under the moniker Sarong Party Girl, her weblog chronicles her life and numerous sexual escapades.

But though she is posing nude, most lawyers said that she is probably not breaking any obscenity laws.

And here we are with a quote from the conservatives:

But others like Ng Heng Ghee, a 33-year-old IT technician and father of two, thought otherwise.

"What she has done reflects badly on her parents."

Spoken like a true father of two. Given the chance though, I bet he would do her the sex too.

Personally, if I'm abuzz, I'm just wondering how news like that even got into the papers. There's a little box on the front page of my The Star about it! Although the liberal part of me shakes his head in disgust at this waste of space, the asshole in me is quite happy that we're covering sordid regional news. Not really all that juicy, but good enough to start off the Sunday morning.

2005-06-12T01:32:00.000+08:00

[DONE] Doom 3 + Resurrection of Evil

2005-06-02T17:29:00.000+08:00

1300mg of Milidon in me and THEN the headache starts abating. Hello all, please say hi again to the Headache ( currently measuring 6.8 on the Richter scale ). I'm wondering if this is due to all the negativity I've been feeling of late. I managed to flip my feelings last night, but I feel that I still have much to learn about managing my emotions. Sometimes they get loose, and life starts *looking* as if it's falling apart. Imagine you're standing in a pleasant white room. Suddenly the paint starts peeling off from the ceiling, revealing a dull grey background. That would be scary, yes? That's what I go through sometimes.

And then I flip that bitch around and it's time for war again. And then I go to sleep, wake up and feel shitty all over. Doesn't help that it hurts like the devil to expel those gigantic black turds from my body. No sirree, they're insisting on staying, even if it gives me hell. Aw crap, another pointless rant about shit. I have SO progressed with my blog.

2005-06-01T19:43:00.000+08:00

I've gotta admit, I've been in a funk lately. My demons somehow decided that it was that time of the year to torment me again, so here they are. Making with the torment. Is it the lack of sleep? The newfound aggression birthed by too much Doom 3? Or am I truly weak and puny, a has-been who should just up and disappear. World's a big place. A man could disappear anywhere. Should.

Oh WELL. My career has always made for depressing talk. Personally, I don't know where I fit in. Programmer? Consultant? Destroyer of worlds? There's that line where nothing is impossible if you put your mind to it, but I find the focusing of such energies to be beyond my grasp. It makes you wonder how other people do it. Those *driven* bastards who forge forward no matter what the cost. Kinda like a bulldog who won't stop biting your leg. Or a soldier who keeps coming at you no matter how many bayonets you stick up his ass. Now that's determination.

Sadly, not everyone can be such powerhouses of will. It's different when you're forced to do it. I doubt many pregnant women just give up during labour and go, "Hey doc, you know what? To hell with this push-it push-it some more thingy you're trying to get me to do. Get me a shot of vodka and let's try this again next Wednesday." That may be determination, but it's more of the "get out of me now you little shit so that I can look thin and pretty again" brand of determination.

When you're *not* forced to do it... ah. It's like exams all over again. You know the paper's next Monday. You know you haven't read anything about it yet. You know you really really need to start studying now if you want to just barely pass. But you know what? Fifteen minutes into reading and you're so falling asleep that you soon find yourself back at your computer, exterminating the hordes of hell in Doom 2.

Yes, those were the merry old days. Apparently, those were these days for me too, albeit the task and the distraction are no longer the same. That's what differentiates us normal people and the successful ones. Force of will. Discipline of mind. Rare qualities, both of them.

2005-05-30T19:38:00.000+08:00

There's something wrong with the coffee today. I'm not usually so chatty, but here I am. Chatty. And a little jittery. And a fair bit bitey too. Also, I can't seem to stop shaking my legs. I feel both tired and energetic at the same time. What's there left to say? Some coffee are not meant to be drunk.

I would like to talk about my lizard today. No, this is not a cryptically veiled reference to my penis. This is the rubber lizard I bought from Toys'R'Us when I was there with my lil sis a long time ago in a toyshop not too far, far away.

My lizard has no name. It's a fair indication of how far I have progressed into the realm of the insensitive. I used to give names to everything. My car. My pen. My other pen. And the other one too. My water bottle +1. My hard drives ( it's actually just one hard drive, but it's partitioned into two, so I gave them both different names ). One might say I am too sentimental. But I have been working hard to get rid of my sentimentality. And now, I stand at the peak of insensitivity. So my lizard has no name.

I brought my lizard to the office to scare the girls. It actually works very well with a couple of people. I remember a couple of screams - they were musical. Unfortunately, after nearly half a year of having the rubber lizard thrown at them, they've gotten pretty jaded with it. One might say that all good things come to an end. It is time to throw real lizards around the office. You know, the ones which can potentially crawl up your ass and lay little lizard eggs in your lower intestines.

Not too long ago, an American engineer was sent from Plantation to help some of my colleagues in Penang. He was big and hairy, and worthy of a cameo in Planet of the Apes. My feelings towards him were neutral, until he started abusing my lizard in ways that were both inhumane and revolting. To go into detail would be too troubling. Suffice to say, my lizard is no longer the same lizard it was. Worse, after he left, my colleagues started taking sadistic pleasure in repeating the perverted acts on my lizard. Now, my lizard undergoes physical abuse everyday. It is a sorrow to watch, but such is life.

2005-05-30T16:02:00.000+08:00

From A Frightened Malaysian abroad

Thanks to Von Darke for this. His blog might be dead, but his spirit lives on in the Internet. Amen.

I was talking to a friend of mine about this, and she said that it's not only a racial issue - it's also a matter of economic class. The other races might think that they're getting shafted, but I guess if you're of the right race but living on the wrong side of the economic divide, you're getting shafted too. Hey, anytime you live on the wrong end of the great divide, you're so shafted.

What can I do? This is my country. I love my country, although on occasion I harbour homicidal thoughts towards those bastard motorists who turn without turning on their signal lights. Is it SO HARD to turn on the signal lights? What, retarded ar the hand? No strength to flick the light on is it? Backside so heavy until hand also cannot lift aR? KANEH.

This is why *I* should run Malaysia. In order to ensure our security and continuing stability, I will establish the First Malaysian Empire, for a safe and secure society which I assure you will last for ten thousand years. An empire that will continue to be ruled by an august body of advisors from all the races of Malaysia, and a sovereign ruler chosen for life. An empire ruled by the majority, ruled by a new constitution. We will annex Thailand and Singapore. Thailand, because they let those Japs-on-bicycles through during WW2. Singapore, because apparently they're very kiasu ( or so I've been told - all the Singaporeans I've met have been friendly so far *shrug* ).

And of course, if our countrymen don't turn on their signal lights when they want to turn, we will chop off their fucking hands and hang those severed limbs from the lamp posts.

Long live the Malaysian Empire.

2005-05-30T10:53:00.000+08:00

Datuk Vader.
Ya, Tuan Ku.
Nasiiiiiiii.

It's odd, but I don't remember that part being in Star Wars: The Revenge of the Sith. Either I really missed it or the radio trailer was FABRICATED. We caught the movie over the weekend, after which we caught Madagascar, after which we caught House of Wax - not a bad way to spend a Saturday.

This is the end. I might never see unfamiliar paragraphs of scrolling Star Wars text again on the big screen. I felt a little sad when I saw the scrolling text, but that all faded away with the glorious opening battle. Very nice. They could have done away with the ridiculous buzzdroid sequence and focused on more ship-to-ship combat though.

Episode 3 was good. I liked it a lot. There was a lot of action. There was a lot to like. It was more to the spirit of the original Star Wars, and had none of the weird aura that permeated episodes 1 and 2. Anakin finally looked good, and I think Obiwan was approaching the look of Alec Guinness. Which is a good thing.

On the home front, I've been busy with work. When I'm not busy with work, there's my new PC taking up my time and of course, TGIQ. TGIQ is undoubtedly my favourite pastime. Doom 3 is taking up my gaming time. It's anathema for the guy who's afraid of the dark, which just spurs me on to finish it. So instead of the "Doom 3 is my DESTINY" line I used to spout, now it's the "I WILL force my cowardly ass to finish Doom 3". Yes, I like scaring my shit white.

Doom 3 is good. It is scary. The shadows are dark, and there's nothing more thrilling than running backwards screaming with a horde of lost souls chasing after you... and then finding out that the door you came through earlier is now mysteriously locked. Or painstakingly clearing out an area and then having some zombie marine appearing behind you to pump you full of lead. It is dark. It is scary. It is glorious. By midgame I was still a little jumpy, although I was starting to get jaded. Or maybe the game was turning from "in your face" scary to "hell is breaking loose" scary.

Doom 3. Good game. Before that I did Painkiller and the Battle out of Hell expansion. Frantic is the word, similar to Serious Sam.

2005-05-04T21:19:00.000+08:00

After three days of diarrhea and one day of constipation, I finally managed to expel good healthy stools out of my body. Mind you, they were not of the "slip out of you with the greatest of ease" variety I experienced back in Plantation *sob*, but they were healthy. A bit dark in colour and sticky and perhaps a tad smellier than usual, but still, healthy. There was no pain. There was no blood. Just a deep satisfaction that my digestive system and my bowels are back in working order. And of course, that nice happy feeling you get after you manage to successfully dislodge a whole chunk of shit via your ass without rupturing the anal walls. Man, that was close to a religious experience.

2005-05-03T13:33:00.000+08:00

Does anyone know where my Carnivale DVDs went to? If you do, please tell me.

In other news, Happy Labour Day. FYI, I was down with fever headache diarrhea swollen eyes during the whole weekend plus the Monday replacement holiday. While this allowed me to finish up my Police Squad! and Doctor Who episodes and also progress in Painkiller, it also left me stuck in my house and left me wide open to a lot of feverish dreams. Why are the dreams you get when you have fever always the weirdest and therefore, the most interesting ones? I do not *know*, but I could probably do without dreams where I'm shocked back into the waking world by large furry caterpillars crawling all over the wet rock I'm on. Or dreams where I meticulously slice off someone's head. I knew watching those terrorist hostage head-cutting videos were going to have a bad effect someday. I just didn't realize that I would be doing the cutting.

Right now, I'm weak. Too much water in me. Not enough solid food. I get a rush everytime I eat something, but soon after that the burst of strength fades away and I'm less than Clark Kent. Heck, right now, I'm feeling like a wad of tissue paper floating in the toiletbowl right after someone's done jacking off into it. Full of something liquidy and ready to be flushed. And I can't even fart anymore you know. I fear that I'll accidentally shit soft smelly yellow liquid stools into my pants. It's really smelly. Like something died and was left half-submerged in a pool of faeces. I've actually smelled that before a long time ago. Throw in the crawling maggots you don't realize until it's too late and you get one fun experience.

Ohkay. So maybe the fever's still having some kind of after effect. All I know is I'm feeling very weak now. And a little dizzy. Which is why I ate meat for lunch. Meat. MEAT. Nice chicken meat. *cluck*. I hope I don't go puking around later.

2005-04-20T22:46:00.000+08:00

And so it came to pass that last Saturday, we went off to Ipoh for our daytrip. To fortify ourselves for the journey, we had a breakfast of dimsum. Turned out that this was the smallest dimsum meal I've ever had.

We left Penang shortly around 10am and reached Ipoh just before 12. The sun was up and contrary to our fears, it didn't rain. We missed the elusive Gunung Lang on our first search for it, so we headed off to Perak Tong first to see the caves.

Arch from Within

The caves were dark and cool, like all caves are wont to be. There are numerous Buddhist statues all around, including one mega gigantic smiling Buddha. Very impressive. It must have been some feat assembling the statues AND carving the steps AND smoothing the surfaces out AND drawing the writings on the wall. Previously unknown to me, there is this long-assed stairway in the caves which leads up to the hill above. Bear Hill, I think it's called. So of course, we decided to hike up to the top of the hill ( I mean, all the way to Ipoh and NOT hike up to the top of Perak Tong? Be serious ). Lovely place. Has a view of industrial Ipoh and a couple of shady gazebos. Because it was smack in the middle of high noon, there were very few people around. God, it was high. I guess climbing up four floors five days a week helps with the stamina.

Gazebos on the Hill

Industrial Ipoh

After the slow but sure journey down, we had coconut juice in one of the shops by the temple. Then it was off to Gunung Lang, which is *south* of Ipoh's North exit. Remember that. Perak Tong - North of the Ipoh North exit. Gunung Lang - South of the Ipoh North exit. Gunung Lang is just after the petrol station, and the road to the recreational park is opposite Wing Onn Garden. Again, since this was afternoon, we were BAKING.

To get to the recreational park proper, you need to pay RM3 per person for the boat ticket. A nice Indian guy aka the boat guy gave us a brief history of the place. We then paid for the tickets and then he took us to the park.

Park from Jetty

It was HOT in the park. You would think that a park would have a lot of trees but nooo, not this one. I mean, they had plants all around, but my idea of a park is a whole lot of trees, which translates to shady walkways and a lack of dehydration. No such luck though. They have two towers you can climb up to and see the area. They have little kampung chalets - a couple we saw were locked, and the one which was unlocked was incomplete and rather empty.

Park from Tower

Park from Tower 2

After about forty minutes, the boat guy came back with more unsuspecting people who were apparently unaware of the heat and we hopped on the boat back to the main jetty. I figure that more people will be coming in the evening, which is when we plan to come back someday. They have really nice streetlights here, akin to the old London types.

And then it was off to Jaya Jusco for lunch in Dave's Deli there and some walking around. After cooling down considerably, we finally decided to go home.

Aye, it was fun. It was hot. Something I'll want to do again though. These roadtrips might be a mite tiring, but they're really fun. People should consider going to Gunung Lang. But in the evening, please. Otherwise you'll end up red like me. I expect that it'll be fantastic for a picnic or an evening stroll.

2005-04-03T21:30:00.000+08:00

That's a whole lot of sotong goreng tepung.

2005-04-02T10:29:00.000+08:00

I know, I promised some of you folks a couple of weeks ago but I never got around to it. So after much procrastination, here it is: the Bad Boy Buddy. Unfortunately, it didn't last two weeks of continuous nightly usage. An instance where more money would have gotten me something which could have lasted longer. It's truly a shame that the Fleshlight wasn't available.

Front full-length shot

Entryway shot

Side shot

Distant shot of entryway

Back shot

Front top-down shot

2005-03-31T10:14:00.000+08:00

You know, I'm like almost Chinese, and I still make fun of them. Then again, I'm rather Christian too and I'm just boiling over with Christian jokes. So anyway, there's this genuine Chinese guy from China which we're working with. He's genuine Chinese because he comes from China and speaks with a Chinese accent. Kinda like a Ming vase, and I suspect he's as old as one too. This guy, he has a tendency to spout wise sayings. Sorta like, Confucius says, "Do it right is more important than do it quick." I never really liked that aspect of him. He would have been labeled a smartass, except that he's old. That makes him an ancient know-it-all. However, the longer I work with him, the more I've come to appreciate his little nuggets of wisdom. Sometimes I even catch myself quoting him. And this is how I lose myself even more.

Of course, I do it all with a booming voice preceded by "CONFUCIUS SAYS...". Bleh.

In other news, Easter's come and gone, and so did the followup earthquake. Kinda like how Christmas came and and earthquake came in its wake. Poor Indonesians. My flat swayed though. Amen to 21-storey flats.